Hot Sex on Tuesday: Masturbation of the mutual kind

It’s national masturbation month and while this is my first post about masturbation in May, it’s definitely not my first post about masturbation material. Still, today’s post (and consequent photo from my soon to be released book Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight!) is a friendly reminder to masturbate, and if you can, make it a mutual thang.

Illustration: Benjamin Wachenje

According to Wikipedia, the definition of masturbation can actually involve touching other people (and I’ve heard the sentence, “I masturbated him to orgasm”) however, when I think of masturbation, I’m generally referring to self-stimulation. Self-stimulation, self-love, jacking or jilling off, whatever term you use when you reference wanking or diddling the body parts under where? under there!, doesn’t mean you have to be alone when you do it.

What I’m getting at, using a certain nursery rhyme, is, when Jack and Jill rolled down the hill they may not have just fetched a pail of water. Maybe Jack and Jill (sometime after breaking his crown and Jill tumbling down), jacked and jilled off! Perhaps, to relieve the pain of rolling down a hill, or because pain turned to pleasure, Jack and Jill touched themselves, on the same hill! at the same time! without touching each other. Whether for sexual or soothing purposes, it doesn’t matter why they did it, but what if they did it? Oh, the things the two of them could have learned about each other’s bodies.

I’ve said this next statement a bit, but it bears repeating. Mutual masturbation is the best touching and teaching tool we’ve got when it comes to showing our partner the chutes and ladders to our sexual pleasure and orgasmic potential. And while at least 78% of men and 60% of women under the age of 50 admitted to masturbating in the last year, according to 2010′s National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, approximately 41% of men and 38% of women engaged in mutual or “partnered” masturbation (the percentages tend to drop drastically in the 50+ age groups for partnered masturbation and in the 70+ age group for men and 60+ age group for women for self-pleasure without a partner’s gaze). It’s time to bring those mutual masturbation numbers up.

There are ways to touch during mutual masturbation, as long as the hand stimulating the erogenous areas belongs to the person whose body is being touched. Or you can sit close together (see above picture) and touch, but not sexy touch. Eye gazing and masturbating from across the room works too. Whatever way you decide, don’t rule out solo sex as a way to get closer to your partner. After all, if you can’t love yourself, how well can you really love anybody else?