This week’s sex product review is an ebook, so I decided there wouldn’t be much to show on video, since, well, it’s an ebook. A Porn Valley Odyssey: Making “The Facts of Life XXX is more about words than pictures (when the movie comes out it will be more about pictures than words) and they are well-written and funny words. Interesting words. Informational words. I loved Gram Ponante’s (full disclosure: I also love Gram Ponante) in-depth recounting of his experience directing “Facts of Life XXX” in this Porn Valley Odyssey. And what an odyssey it was. From casting a sex worker called Coffee Brown to a Jo with a British/Aussie accent, it ain’t the Facts of Life I was raised on. Or is it?

“Unlike the source material, unlike the source material “Facts of Life XXX” would end with the girl-on-girl Natalie/Tootie bang that audiences have craved for nearly 30 years, rather than the whimper that was Cloris Leachman.”

I learned a lot about porn valley in this 64 page book. Read the original script for the Facts of Life XXX (the one with mention of Cousin Geri, aka Geri Jewell). Mr. Ponante (aka Marty Barrett) reminds us that when making porn, it’s not the sex that’s difficult (although dealing with the smells can be), it’s no shows, poor acting, chlamydia, drugs and crossing the line.

And, I had no idea that:

• Larry Flynt makes his employees pay for parking.
• The People v. Harold Freeman saved porn’s ass(ets).
• Fellation was a word I wasn’t using.* *even if it’s a made up word

The book is short enough to read quickly, funny enough to read again and insightful enough to get this man a literary agent. Buy the book for yourself, and as the kids say these days, LYFAO.