I haven’t been much of an online dater. I’ve never had skype sex. I don’t IM or BBM, or Facebook chat, AIM, i-chat, etc. As I type this, I realize I’m not so adventurous in my search for love. I prefer to do things the “old-fashioned” way, like meeting through friends or at places. Here I am looking to date and and I feel so out-of-date.
I find the topic of love online, and not in person, the way of the now, and of the indeterminate future. As someone who has spent most of her love life, and really all of my life, offline, the idea of being able to meet the “love of your life” or at least one of your loves, without having to physically touch them, is something that only a few short years ago we did not do, because we could not see them, or connect with them, in real time. But now we can, and oh, the options and places to chat! This is the kind of love that’s built on words, pictures, dreams and on a foundation of friendship. This is the kind of love not usually built on sex and immediate intimacy. That makes it the the kind of love that has lastability. Personal experience has taught me that love built on sex isn’t the kind of lasting long-term love that I now seek.
I don’t know Nancy Schwartzman personally, not yet, although I will likely meet her in April at Momentum. What I do know is that she has directed a documentary called Xoxosms, about the true love of Gus and Jiyun, a young couple who met through the help of a Facebook application. The short documentary is in need of some additional funding so that it can be finished, and that we can continue to study, and interact, in that all-too-personal-even-when-we-don’t-know-each-other-personally-sort-of-way.
What makes this documentary so alluring is it isn’t at all about the dangers of online dating. It’s not about the brutality that can happen when you happen to meet the wrong woman, who happens to be a man! who happens to be a cop! serial killer! convicted rapist! online. Yes, that happens, but what happens more often, and just isn’t as newsworthy, are happy things, like meeting friends or falling in love. (If you haven’t realized by now, happy things rarely make top news, even the evening news puts the horrific things first, and the happy stories generally after the weather, sports and small talk.) That’s why I think it would be lovely if we can all make this story happen - through word of mouth, or if you can, through the generous change in your pockets.
If you want to find out more, or help fund the project, check out the kickstarter page now. Because we all have a vision, and here, we can help see one vision, and follow one love through, at least to the end of the film (there are no guarantees after that).