When my friend, and fellow sex writer Rachel Kramer Bussel wrote on ode to pussy wax, I knew it was time for another TMI moment…But before that: Toying with Tuesday will be back again Wednesday with products by Good Clean Love - and I’ll be on the Lunch with the Loveologist podcast tomorrow. I’m seriously considering making the Tuesday to Wednesday thing a permanent change, one where it will henceforth be called Do What?! Where?! Wednesday….
Let’s get down to the bizness of wax…man. Pussy waxing, really, or for those of us bold enough to admit it (and not Asian enough to be without it), pussy and butt waxing, aka the brazilian. “We” meaning a group of friends and I, were just discussing the ass thing last night (bleeding assholes to be exact) and why when we all have at least one asshole in our life, but not necessarily a bleeding asshole, it’s still one of the hardest holes to talk about. The point here is, most of us have hair in our ass crack, and yet, the idea of having hair in our ass crack does seem rather gross.
I only wax below my belly button and above my thighs. I shave the legs and the pits, although if it were up to me and me alone, I’d stop the pit shaving. I find hairy armpits sexy and smelly, in a good sort of smelly way, but most guys I date, they don’t like it so much. Still, when it comes to the pubes, no more shaving for me, not since that first rip back in 2007. The reason I love waxing is simple; there’s less hair over a longer period of time and the more you do it, the less hair grows back. The reason I dread waxing is also simple; it can hurt like a motherf-ker, although I’m not sure how much a motherf-ker generally hurts. When you have a waxer who isn’t gentle and she doesn’t hold your lips and pull the right way (go with the hair) then it sucks. Then, and right around the period, it hurts way more then too.
These days, I’m lucky. I’ve found a few good waxers, some who also carry the more sensitive green wax, cause I’m a sensitive kind-of Waxman. That means I’m not getting as bruised or bleeding as much. I know the bleeding sounds gross too, but just to clarify here, it can happen during shaving as well. The strangest, most uncomfortable part for me is how close the wax person gets with her face. How she gets all up in my junk and dissects the hairs and the lips and the asshole, and how personal it is, even when I don’t know her name or favorite color. And then when she’s asking me to hold my ass cheeks so she can get deep in the crack, that’s probably the most humbling moment. But other than that, I love waxing (not all of it off, I prefer the Bermuda Triangle look), and I’m happy I can grin and bare it, which is unlike sugaring, a form of modern-day torture. The point is, try waxing, once, especially if you have as much hair as me, and you want to get rid of the stubble in certain sensitive areas. If you try it - or already love it, you know (or will know) what I’m talking about.
Just remember, there’s a fine line between pleasure and pain, and a not so fine line between waxing and shaving. And then, all lines are crossed when it comes to animation about bleeding anuses.