Hot Sex: Penis Size

Normally Hot Sex on Tuesday is a post about my soon to be released book, Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight! but that’s “normally” and anyone who knows me knows that I don’t do “normal” well. Veering off topic today, after having spent too many minutes staring at Rep. Anthony Weiner’s seemingly large member (see above), I want to talk about the matter of size and I’m hoping to hear from men and women who have sex with guys born with the hardware (or software, depending on his state) that we call penis.

Penis size. Does the size of his penis matter to you? Does the size of your penis matter to you? Has penis size ever been a deal breaker in a relationship?

Yes, the size of his penis is a topic that makes some of us squirm (yes, bigger is better), and others of us shrug (no, it’s no big deal). According to this article in Men’s Health, an article that has nothing to do with six pack abs, yahoo!, and this LA after dark blog post, women don’t care how low, high, or long he hangs. It’s more in his head. If anything, thickness matters for women and that’s because of the amount of nerve endings in the first one-third of the vagina. Still, most women surveyed said it doesn’t matter what you’ve got as long as you know how to make her orgasm. That’s fine for heterosexual couples, but since gay dudes don’t have pussy, what’s size like for them?

Sex with a large penis isn’t generally all that either. It can be like dating a model. When someone has a relatively large cock, like when they’re extremely good-looking, lots of times they think that all they need to do is show up to make sex worth his or her while. With that attitude, the sex is generally pretty bad, no matter how hot they are. Still, when someone looks like Shrek, or believes that their cock isn’t gods gift to humankind, they are way more into learning how to please, because they have to be. I was talking to a girlfriend about cock size the other day. She once dated a man who’s penis was as big as the base of wine bottle (that’s what she says). She had to tell him, “no way is your penis going inside of me.” I asked her if she would have done the same if his penis dangled like a limp inchworm? Would she have said, “no way is your penis going inside of me?” No.

Here’s full disclosure. I’m writing an article about penis size for Playgirl magazine. The reason I pitched this article is because I struggle with this question, both as a sex educator and a sexual being. I know it’s PC to say size doesn’t matter, and it’s factual to back it up with research like this. And when research says guys, don’t worry, we’ve checked out the penises of 11,531 men and can now tell you average size (5.5 - 6.2 inches) and that falling above or below this is a-okay too, y’know, it’s not the size of the wave, it’s the motion of the ocean, I do jump on the bandwagon and say “hey guys, don’t worry, be happy. Really it’s your personality and looks that matter most. Besides learn how to make your partner happy and you’re golden.” I wonder what it must be like for those guys who don’t have personality, or looks, or skill enough to learn how to master other people’s orgasms? Not everyone with a small penis has a large personality or Ben Harper good looks. And gay guys, how far does personality and looks go for you? Does that matter more than penis size?

How often do we lie to ourselves about the type of penis we really want? How often are we disappointed when we see what we don’t expect (especially those tall guys with the small penises)? Is it alright to be disappointed?

I don’t have all the answers, but I do have lots of questions. And if you have a moment, and would like to contribute to Playgirl‘s article on the matter of size, or does size matter, please fill out my easy, breezy, and quick 10 question survey too.

Click here to take survey