Sex Review: On Being Single

Photo Credit: Yannick Bindert

As I walked through the valley of the shadow of Los Angeles, flip camera in hand, I decided to think my thoughts out loud and record them as this week’s sex review. While being single isn’t a product, there are a lot of services out there to help people not be single anymore (think online dating sites, matchmakers, life coaches, therapists). The truth is, some people prefer being single, and some don’t. So, as a professional sex educator, I decided to post a personal review of how I feel (right now) about being single.

Watch my video: On Being Single

Sure there’s a pro and con list for being single, and being partnered, but I know that I get more done, feel more accomplished, and inspired when I’m part of a team. I once worked with a radio host, we’ll call him Lionel, who said there was no we in Lionel (there isn’t, only an I) and maybe after an aborted partnership that ended  later in life, or after children, I understand (more) the single life and why it’s a preference. I once dated a guy who said my biggest drawback was that I “needed” love. Who doesn’t need love?  If you think about the best art, work, stories, songs, even those where one person gets all the credit, the truth is, they never did it alone. Nobody does their best work alone, or is inspired to do their best work, alone.

There is research to back up the idea that happily married people live longer and stay healthier. I know the same can’t be said for the unhappily married, but I’d rather be single than be in the wrong, long relationship, but to quote Sebastian the crab from the Little Mermaid, “the seaweed is always greener in somebody else’s lake.”

If you want to read even more, check out For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage.