Sex Review: On Being Single
Photo Credit: Yannick Bindert
As I walked through the valley of the shadow of Los Angeles, flip camera in hand, I decided to think my thoughts out loud and record them as this week’s sex review. While being single isn’t a product, there are a lot of services out there to help people not be single anymore (think online dating sites, matchmakers, life coaches, therapists). The truth is, some people prefer being single, and some don’t. So, as a professional sex educator, I decided to post a personal review of how I feel (right now) about being single.
Watch my video: On Being Single
Sure there’s a pro and con list for being single, and being partnered, but I know that I get more done, feel more accomplished, and inspired when I’m part of a team. I once worked with a radio host, we’ll call him Lionel, who said there was no we in Lionel (there isn’t, only an I) and maybe after an aborted partnership that ended later in life, or after children, I understand (more) the single life and why it’s a preference. I once dated a guy who said my biggest drawback was that I “needed” love. Who doesn’t need love? If you think about the best art, work, stories, songs, even those where one person gets all the credit, the truth is, they never did it alone. Nobody does their best work alone, or is inspired to do their best work, alone.
There is research to back up the idea that happily married people live longer and stay healthier. I know the same can’t be said for the unhappily married, but I’d rather be single than be in the wrong, long relationship, but to quote Sebastian the crab from the Little Mermaid, “the seaweed is always greener in somebody else’s lake.”
If you want to read even more, check out For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage.
Posted by Jamye | 2 comments
Cindy
Hey Jamye, I know there are pros and cons to everything. You are so right when you say wouldn’t want to be unhappy in a long term relationship or marriage as I have been. I feel I am pretty open hey I came to your workshop at Sugar here in Baltimore. But, what do you do when you. Find your husband of 16 years and over the course o f a good 10 oh hate the term but”downlow”? Then after. Huge amounts of therapy enough to by a vacation home ….you say ok let’s do the open marriage and you do your thing and I will do mine. He is still not upfront and honest.he stated he is Bi-curious….so what and be upfront get on with life but he is playing I am confused, I don’t know what “normal is anymore?” Duh
I listen and when he tells me oh I. Haven’t done anything with anyone I know its not true.
Jamye being single when your my age 60 can be fun or deppressing or whatever you make of it. Personally, I think you have one helluva of a fascinating life to do what you please and, do the great work that you have been doing. Hopefully someone will come along…..hang tough and thanks for reading this. I will take any suggestions you make and appreciate it.
jamye
Thanks for writing so honestly Cindy. I hear you. There is no such thing as normal. Email me off blog and we can talk.