Last week’s holiday gift guide didn’t happen, but that’s because so much was happening in New York.

Today will be a two functions, two toys type of day. One toy for before Hanukkah ends, and one toy for before Christmas begins. Let’s start with Hanukkah (although I think of both Hanukkah’s menorah and Xmas lights when I see this ass toy), shall we?

Simply Blown Holiday Butt Plugs aren’t just for the holidays, but they look like they should be. I met the man (artiste) behind the hand blown glass butt plugs this summer at the sex toy expo here in LA. A “nice, jewish boy” as some Lawn Guyland grandmother would say. His toys are hand crafted, colorful and more than just a piece for you of ass. And they easily fit in a stocking - if you’re not going the Hannukah route…

One for xmas is the Santa Duckie. Yeah. Animals and sex don’t often go hand in hand (unless perhaps you live on a farm or have a fetish, but in either case there’s a whole host of controversy around those experiences) when it comes to the folks at Big Tease Toys - who happen to be the makers of the Santa Duckie - worms, ducks and penguins are never off limits. I’m not sure if this is a limited edition item, but one, or I should say “I” would assume so, since it is a Santa Duckie, and since around March most people aren’t thinking, wow, I wish I could get that Santa Duckie for Easter. That would be the Easter Duckie, right? Is there an Easter Duckie? Or I would make a goose that lays golden vibrator eggs too! I love that idea!!! In any case, this Duckie can hang on the tree like an ornament, or can buzz on your skin like a vibrator.

Two toys. Two functions. Two Holidays. One decider. You!

(purchase both products @ babeland.com)