Having sex this Easter Sunday? Whether you’re getting it on in bed, on the table or in the backyard here are ways to keep the spirit of Easter alive within you.

• You’re not hunting for eggs, no, remind yourself that you’re humping someone with eggs instead - if you’re a gay man this reminder doesn’t apply, sorry.

• Make sure that you screw like rabbits when you screw.

• When he comes, have him ejaculate onto his stomach and then bring out the food dye and color his sperm for a pretty Easter treat.

• Do it out back, on the grass, wearing only your best Easter bonnet.

• And don’t forget to scream for sweet Jesus with every thrust!