Lady Gaga says blah-blah on celibacy. I couldn’t agree with her more.
Lady Gaga, whom I now have the utmost respect for after reading this article, has recently “come out” about her choice to not have sex.
“I’m single right now and I’ve chosen to be single because I don’t have the time to get to know anybody. So it’s OK not to have sex, it’s OK to get to know people. I’m celibate, celibacy’s fine.”
As a sex educator who has, for the past seven months, struggled with my own teaching verse doing, I couldn’t agree more. For me, having just emerged from six months of celibacy, I can say “man, I needed that!” It was a chance and a choice to regroup and reevaluate what I want out of my self and my sex. Sometimes we all need space from other people and I needed space from being in my space with them. It’s not like I didn’t have sex with myself, I just chose to keep it within the confines of me and my accoutrements. And when I finally did have sex, it was someone I knew well enough to know I wanted to know him better.
I am so not VIP. I had no idea about the world of bottle service, and the ways of the sales-associate bottle girl. I knew this world existed, but that’s about as far as it goes. I had no idea there was the baiting and the hooking and all that jazz. I mean I know things happen, strange things (I’ve been around enough of what may not be considered “normal” in both my work and my every day city life) but I was fascinated by what I thought was the current, but now I know it’s last week’s New York magazine article Rachel Uchitel is Not a Madam. (One important thing I did learn is that my subscription to New York comes a week later in LA).
I think Rachel Uchitel sounds smart, except for when it came to answering “yes!” about posing naked for the photographer for NY mag. Can you imagine Tiger Woods posing in nothing but one of those golf club cozy thing-a-ma-jigs over his willy for an article about his sexual habits? In this article, Uchitel doesn’t really talk about the Tiger thing she’s not talking about, and that’s in large and obvious part to what Allred’s daughter calls ”Mr. Green” and friends, instead she talks about the world of VIP status.
After reading this Huffington Post article, I just want to go on record and say oral sex is sex. That means BJ’s and CJ’s (blow jobs and clit jobs - a term I hope I just made up, but I’m sure I didn’t, still it’s what I’m calling cunnilingus from now on, as in from right now on) are sex. You can get sexually transmitted infections like gonorrhea and chlamydia form oral sex, and you can give and receive herpes and HPV that way too.
I’ll be the first to admit I have a “human” track record when it comes to safe sex, read that as you may, but at least I’m clear on what oral sex is, unlike certain, uhm, former Presidents with famous cigar habits.
According to this 2007 University of Kentucky survey/study, back in 1991, 40% of the population (the population of a 500+ person survey that is) thought of oral-genital contact as sex, and now, since the Clinton-Lewinsky effect (the “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” or the oh but I did get a blowjob, that doesn’t count, right? comment) even less young adults think of oral sex as sex. The numbers now are somewhere around 20% for men and 18% for women.
Poor oral sex. It’s always been thought of as less than, when it comes to it’s more “mature” brethren, intercourse. But it’s not less than, it’s just different, and different is still sort of the same. Do you get what I’m saying?
It’s totally you-tubular Tuesday, and I’ve picked five short clips that will make you smile, and laugh and smile again. Oh, and they all have to do with sex. Check these out.
1. Upon perusing some ridiculously hilarious Warren the Ape material last week, I came across an interview my dear friend XCritic’s Chris Thorne, did this past January at AVN. Here he interviews Chauncey the Bear and Warren the Ape. Chauncey, if you don’t know, is a bear in the business. And Warren, he’s an ape with his own TV show coming out in June on MTV.
This week’s so last week delves into an interesting piece from the NY Times Magazine which explores the question, can animals be gay? If you haven’t read it yet, do. In other sex news, pizza porn, porn star senate races and porn, the real reasons “we” try to control it.
Here (and hear) Reid Mihalko, a knowledgeable sex educator!, talks about how to really feel sex. Like not just feel it, but more about feeling the “feeling” of it.
Tongue Twister. Sort of.
It’s hard to go really feel “it”, (I’m going “parentheses” crazy today). To be completely open what’s going on between two (or more) bodies, especially when the brain is going like “how fat am I right now?” or “OMG, what if I queef.” When you’re getting to know someone new, it’s way more difficult to be vulnerable and open, and since they may have been a stranger not too long before, it’s easy to want to shut down, off or just roll over. If we didn’t shut down sometimes then we’d be connecting on a more intimate level with every Tom, Dick and Harriet on the street, and we don’t want to do that.
And you’re not fat, and queefs are funny.
So, when we want to feel more, listen to these two minutes of Reid’s talk from his Tantra for Beginners workshops. (Shot at The Pleasure Chest LA, CA).