Different Time. Same Place. Jamaica. On location. 101 Positions for Lovers DVD.

I’m tootin’ my own horn in this post, and it’s not tootin’ as in farting either.

Here’s the dileo. I came across a blog post from Vegas 2010 (The AEE) and it made me feel all warm and fuzzy. The post was written by my dear, old (as in known for a long time) friend Roger T. Pipe. He’s a porn reviewer. A well respected, sweet and sincere type of guy. He was, once upon a time, our weekly adult video reviewer for a show on the now defunct (RIP) eyada.com, and he took his job rather seriously.

While he’s well known for reviewing porn, I was honored when he reviewed me.  So here it is - the review that brought tears to my eyes…Rog’s Review of me!

Video from the time when the sun is coming down (also called sunset). I’m looking at the beach from the pool deck, and on the beach there are beds, which helps aid in the literal translation of sex on the beach.

I’m here for work, and it’s times like these that I really love my job.

I made this video a few days ago. It shows my favorite feature of the rooms at Hedo II -the place where sex happens but where I have never had sex.

In my inbox this morning:

Haven’t you ever wondered how much sex you had last month, or even last year?

Actually I know how much sex I’ve had this year. I know how much sex I had last year too. Once, a long time ago, I would have wondered how much sex I was having, but you don’t have to wonder when you aren’t having sex. By choice, people, by choice. Trust me, being in Jamaica (right now that is where I am, so why am I blogging? right..because I’m not having sex) it’s hard not to have sex, but somehow I’ve still managed to avoid it. Going to bed early helps.

And TMI, but while recently trying to make a list of the men who have worked their way between my thighs with their personal penile utensil, I couldn’t quite remember all the names (and there aren’t really that many) or even if all the guys I was remembering where guys I actually had sexual intercourse with.  Is that so wrong?

One more question. Why did you have start your sentence with haven’t. Couldn’t you have phrased the question like this: Have you ever wondered just who the f*ck you had sex with?

It continued:

You’d know if you used Nooky Diary! Nooky Diary is a new site that helps you keep track of your sex life. Your ‘nooky’ is recorded in a calendar and graphed over time. All data is stored privately for your eyes only, but for the exhibitionists out there, you can shout your conquests from the rafters by tweeting @NookyDiary straight from Twitter. I expect anybody with a sex life to use Nooky Diary, from women planning a pregnancy, to young men documenting their sexual exploits.  There’s really no reason whyanybody would NOT find interest in having an accurate record of the sex life.

I’m passing on contributing, but I’m passing this on because if nothing else, it’s trying to be helpful. Until someone hacks into it, or unless you don’t want them to know your facebook or twitter account info, then it may become more stressful than helpful.  I don’t need to keep track of what is too easily trackable without the help of computer automation, but if you need help, ask and ye shall receive.

From last week and beyond…

It was long ago and it was far away...

I was looking for a quick blog post from many moons ago when I scrolled over to a month and a year that I don’t remember in detail (I love the archives bar, a feature I rarely use on my site, but a feature that made me realize I’ve been blogging for a while).  I realized I have this online journal of my life to help me remember things that I honestly otherwise would not remember. And then this one time in band camp…I’ll stop now.

NOTE: The rest of this post is just a barrage of verbal TMI diarrhea. Read on only if you’re ready for an explosion that splatters everywhere. (ewww..)

Read more »

Celebrities love themselves, duh, or most of them wouldn’t care about being celebrities. Today, the Frisky took this self-love thing to the next level, in a pictorial of 10 celebs who admit to masturbation, or at least can say masturbation without feeling all icky (although Dustin Hoffman says fondling, and that sounds weird, at least the way he says it).

Celebrities aren’t the only ones who celebrate masturbation.

Me? I can say it without flinching, do it, admit to loving it, heck I even wrote a book about it. I can relate to Madonna (in the above piece) who says she didn’t discover masturbation until she was 17 or 18. I was 21. I was having partnered sex and not thinking much of need anything else before then. That was before I lived alone in a small town in Ohio, where I worked as a DJ in my first job in radio. I didn’t think of masturbating a lot, because I was in a serious relationship, getting some whenever I needed it. But once I was alone, I needed more of me. And now I can’t imagine my life with masturbation. My life without orgasms by me, when I want them, quickly, easily and powerfully - and yes, thanks eroscillator.

Is there a right amount of masturbation in one’s life? I don’t know. I do know that a woman like Betty Dodson looks way younger than she is, and I have to think that’s because she’s had a lot more orgasms than a lot of people out there, and many of her orgasms are self-imposed, or maybe self-induced is a better phrase, whatever, she wrote a book about it too. And so, for reasons like staying younger longer, and feeling great, I’m happy to keep on twiddling.

I just realized that the one thing all three of these topics have in common (besides the sex them) is that they are all three’s. Three brothers come first then two women with three names. Three. Three! THREE! I love me some three’s. It’s my favorite number.

Then I wonder out loud..Why do I have a favorite number? I think of it more as a lucky number. Lucky, not favorite. I did have a favorite letter when I was a kid. It was “s.” I like the sound it made. Essssss…

Now, although I spend more time in front of my computer than I do most other places these days, I apparently don’t know about a lot of things like Keyboard Cat (and don’t even get me started on the things I don’t know I don’t know about). This week, I found out about these people and what they’re doing with their lives right now.

• The Visconti Triplets. Identical gay triplet brothers Jason, Jimmy and Joey who do porn. I bet their parents are really proud. And yes, they’re all nicely hung. A little different, but not much.
• Mallory Rae Murphy. An 18 year old who let her (loss of) virginity become a business matter, first had vaginal sex on camera with Evan Stone this year. The girl’s got a long term plan, and this impresses me. That she doesn’t have a website up yet, this does not impress me.
• Vajazzling. I think I have more respect for Jennifer Love Hewitt than I ever did. And it has everything to do with this clip and the fact that she’s talking about making her va-jay-jay shine like a disco ball. Plus, she’s written a book on dating. It’s called The Day I Shot Cupid.

I’m still way intrigued with the gay triplets.

Back when homosexuality was dubbed “a sickness of the mind” there were actual videos being made that said that. What I like about this list is that the clips here are worth watching. But sometimes I don’t think the author appreciates these videos the way I do. I think his tone is way more seriously angry. It’s all too far in the past to get angry now. And frankly, it’s just bizarre.

In the first video, a mom walks in on her young son masturbating. We don’t see anything, and the conversation they have, while likely not the norm in most families, should be. I thought the gist of the dialogue was spot on even if her facial expressions (and those eyes) make her seem a little too creepy.

Then, the homosexuality video appears. Scary and somewhat surreal. Like, really, this was once produced? People paid to have this made? The best line may be, “Beware: One never knows when a homosexual is about to appear,” but the whole gloom-n-doom scare tactic thingy just seems sad now. I’m glad most sane, rational people don’t think like this anymore. I wish we all understood that different types of people love different types of people. But we don’t.

I couldn’t get through video three (below). Too weird and icky.

I found video four humanizing.

Number five is taken from number three, so if you watch all of three, skip this one..and while I watch the rest, you watch them too, okay?

From carrying condoms, the Adult Entertainment Expo (once again) to avoiding arrest by taking all your clothes off, what the world is coming to, or what it came to, last week.

• Ron Jeremy says violent video games are worse than porn and his behavior is called hypocritical and disappointing. Really? Think about this one. (BBC)
• I held the mic and reported for Carnal Nation LIVE! from the Adult Entertainment Expo. They edited my exploits together, and made this fairly long video. (Carnal Nation)
• Lesbian couples custody battle could set precedent, but is also strange because the biological mother is now dating the sperm donor. (MercuryNews)
• Carrying three condoms in certain states may get you arrested for prostitution. And even if you are a condom carrying sex worker, isn’t that called protecting oneself - something one should be applauded for doing? (Jezebel)
• A mother strips naked so she won’t get arrested, but it doesn’t work. (news.yahoo.com)
• Larry Kramer’s outlook changed the course of AIDS, and now he’s turned his skills to rewriting (gay) history. (NYMag)
• Another perspective of what really goes down at the largest porn expo in America. (Pornochromatic)
• The odds of finding love in a large city are smaller than you think. Just ask a nerd named Peter Backus who wrote the paper, Why I don’t have a girlfriend: An application of the Drake Equation. (Salon)