Sometime after the second year of a relationship, you might start to question if this - meaning the relationship - is the end of the path you’re on when it comes to sex and dating. Even if things are good, you’ll probably still think about it, at least for a second, since you realize now you’ve committed a lot of time to one person. You might wonder if the person you’ve spent, say the last 24 months with, is really the person you want to spend the next 24 plus years with. At some point you will think about this. About committing (which is different than getting committed). You’ll contemplate “settling down” verses making sexy love with someone new and exciting.

But I don’t think it has to be one way or the other. I don’t think being in a relationship with one person means you can’t sample other dessert options too. At least sometimes. And I know of a lot of people who think like me, even if we don’t all think this way all of the time. See, I’m at that 3.5 year point in my relationship, and over the last few months we both decided that we need to change things up a bit. We both need to find ways to balance the love of, or in, our lives as well as the sex our bodies still want with other people.

My friend, and sex-memoir writer, Suzanne Portnoy, in her fun new book The Not So Invisible Woman writes about having a monogamous heart, but not a monogamous groin. I can relate to that. I’m a horny girl, who has, since getting with her boyfriend, also gotten back into good shape, and now I want more men, and occasionally women, to worship my ass (and my brain too).

Does that make me more selfish than you, or just more honest?

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