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Tuesday, March 9 2004

Sugar…Saliva..They both start with ‘S’


Like most Americans who consume more than their share of sugar, I get wacky, either wacky good or wacky bad, it all depends on the amount of crystallized goodness I ingest. Sometimes I am really happy and high, so to speak, and other times I feel really alone and helpless. I think it happens to everybody at one time or another, regardless of if we choose to partake in the delicious offering of the sugar goddess or if we are a diabetic. When we feel happy, life is full of action and excitement; and when we feel sad, life is full of inaction or disgust. Well, it’s when we are filled with sadness and disgust that we should do more, because it really sucks to be depressed, to simply vegetate and salivate. (just for the record, I am not depressed right now)…

I hate salivating, like sometimes, when you just go to bed and your mouth’s a little open, and that warm spit starts to drip down the side of your face onto the top of your pillow - mmm…moist mouth juice. It was a huge turn off for me, in one of my previous relationships, when the guy I was dating was a wet kisser. Every time he stuck his large tongue down my small mouth (yeah, right, it ain’t so small, I know) I would gag, and I would absolutely, positively get grossed out to the point where I would take my hand and wipe the spit off my mouth. In fact, as I write this, the memory smells fresh in my mind…ughhh!

But saliva can also be a turn on. Especially when you’re with your sweetie, another sugar reference of sorts, and you swap spit, because you want to be as physically close as you can with someone. Usually it’s this exchange of spit that leads to other exchanges. Have you ever thought about how much of someone else’s salivary juices you’ve actually ingested? Or does the thought of that really turn you off? If it does, I’m sorry, then don’t think about it. Or don’t kiss. You decide.

I know. Saliva is your friend. Really. But another way it can be unpleasant is when you have a “friend” who has wet mouth. Y’know, the kind of speech impediment that forces him to spray it and say it. That’s just as icky as the boy who I kissed who had too much saliva, who, by the way did not have wet mouth.

I don’t know why I thought about saliva in the first place….but sometimes it’s easier not to think and to just salivate…

Saliva..mmm..mmm..good, but not as yummy as sugar.

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