So Last Week .86

In this week’s sex news you may have missed, New York gives the green light to same sex marriage. Woot! Special thanks to Freddy and Eddy for teaching me that as long as your bits are covered, you can fly the friendly skies. Plus, Al Gore gets the right’s panties in a bunch when he talks birth control and the Internet is made for sex education.

  • New York marriage bill paves the way for same-sex divorce.(Reuters)
  • Canada: Internet more useful than parents when it comes to sex education. (TheBody)
  • Right-wingers say Al Gore is evil for wanting women to have access to birth control. (TheGrist)
  • The erotic engine. How porn changes everything. (CNBC)
  • File under WTF: Florida Board of Medicine allows convicted rapist to keep practicing as a doctor. (NewTimes)
  • Simultaneous orgasms more likely with hot men. (YourTango)
  • Florence Henderson claims a one-night stand with New York Mayor John Lindsay gave her crabs. (DListed)
  • If you pack a vibrator, don’t get shaken by the TSA. (SFGate)
  • Speaking of airlines, U.S. Airways allows a man to fly in women’s undergarments. (ABC)
  • And speaking of vibrators,  Trojan blows more than your hair back with their Tri-phoria massager ad (VIDEO). (TheSoupBlog)

Hot Sex on Tuesday: Excuses

Making excuses is rarely a good thing in sex, but I have an excuse for why Hot Sex on Tuesday is going to direct you to other areas of interest. Over the course of the last few weeks I’ve begun writing for two other blogs, LA Weekly’s After Dark and The Stir’s Love & Sex Channel at CafeMom. While I’ll still continue to post here as regularly as I get my periods (and that’s pretty regularly), I won’t necessarily be posting here daily.

As I prepare for tomorrow’s Mindshare, please enjoy some of my other posts, like:

Five Politicians Worth Sexting

25 Mind-Blowing Sex Spots You Never Thought You’d Try

The Best Condoms You Won’t Even Know Are There

So Last Week .85

In this week’s sex news, what happens when a gay activist goes straight? The foreskin campaign gets racist, Betty Dodson on cheating and the costs of inhabiting a digital reality. It’s all so last week, sex news you may have missed.

Image via brainchildvn/flickr
  • Going straight: My ex-gay friend. (NYTimes)
  • Foreskin man turns the anti-circumcision campain into anti-semitism. (WashPost)
  • Three cheers for this well-done piece on the BFD on cheating. Betty Dodson, you go girl! (DodsonandRoss)
  • Just because he’s gay, doesn’t make the judge required to remove himself from the Prop 8 case on same-sex marriage. (LATimes)
  • Sexting. Not just a teen phenomenon. (NYDailyNews)
  • The costs of inhabiting a digital reality. A lesson to all the Anthony Weiner’s out there. (Economist)
  • Nicole Daedone and the invisibility of asexuality. (CharlieGlickman)
  • Naked female scientist tries to tame belugas in the freezing Arctic. She’s bbbrrrrrave. (DailyMail)
  • More men are addressing their ball stink. (Jezebel)
  • The “Leave Britney alone” you tube guy, Chris Crocker, getting ready for his porny debut. (Gawker)

Hot Sox: Sex and Aging

This week’s Hot Sox Podcast features pro-aging sexpert, Joan Price, whose recent book Naked At Our Age discusses a myriad of subjects including “elder sex,” sex after death, cancer, online dating, viagra, erectile dysfunction and what to do when a woman loses her sex drive after menopause (this is quite common apparently). We discuss these subjects and more, like sex toys and communication because Joan is a wealth of information about sex and aging. Plus, for those things she doesn’t know, she finds the sex educators who do.
We both get teary-eyed as we man who had the biggest impact on her life so far, that’s the love of her life Robert, who passed away three years ago from cancer. While it took Joan over a year after his death to finish this book, it’s a testament to healing. Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex (Seal) is a book for anyone who hopes, and plans, to get old. It’s not just for people who are.

Listen to the podcast Sex and Aging (yep, right here). Or listen on itunes.

Check out Joan’s Books:

Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex

Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty

Sex Toy Review: Fairy Baby Vibe

Meet the Fairy Baby, a teeny-tiny wand-like vibrator that recharges via USB cord. Fairy Baby is part of MerciToys line of Fairy Wand toys and attachements, and it’s tiny enough for even your Barbie to use. Okay, that’s weird, but I said it in the video and I wrote it here, so I admit to a having a weird Barbie sex fascination. Like how do they do it, when he’s so flat and she has no holes?

Watch my review here, or below:


Boys will be girls. Girls will be boys.

Image via stampinmom/flickr

At a family baby shower, long ago, back in the wooded parts of upper New Jersey, we were all asked, in that let’s-play-baby-shower-games sort of way, to provide advice for the mother-to-be. I remember telling that MTB, who happens to be my cousin, to dress her boys in pink and her girls in blue. It made some ladies in the room uncomfortable to even think of defying the traditional gender roles of girls and boys, or pink and blue, but living in a world where boys can be girls and girls can be boys who are girls who like boys, my request was more of a reminder that we don’t know what we have, at least in terms of offspring, until they know who they are. And while I’m not a mother myself, not yet, and if I were, I’d hope to follow my own advice. At least until my child was old enough to make his or her own decisions.

While this site is generally about adult topics, a recent NYTimes article on boys who act like girls and girls who act like boys caught my attention this morning. I love how far we’ve come, being able to read articles in national newspapers about young children who don’t identify, at least not fully, with the prescribed roles of their given gender. Or how I can listen to This American Life and hear a story about two girls, Lilly and Thomasina, who were born boys, but at 8 were already living their lives as girls. Instead of living their lives as their chosen gender, they chose gender, and at 8, or even younger, that’s an incredibly liberating existence. One that allows boys to paint their toe nails, wear pink and play with Barbies.

I’m not saying that parenting a gender-variant child is easy. As a parent, I can only imagine what it’s like to learn the boy you love would rather be a girl. Especially if you’re not prepared to handle it, and truly, how many parents are ever ready to handle parenthood, let alone a child who doesn’t prescribe to traditional gender roles? And as a child, kids can be cruel. If they can’t understand who you are, and how you dress, the teasing and fighting that will ensue for a good part of the 13 years most of us go to school can suck. But these stories are so inspirational too. I wish I could have been that strong in my own identity when I was a child. And sure, the internet has helped us all come a long way in not feeling alone, as evidenced by the Raising My Rainbow blog, a loving, personal blog about “the adventures in raising a slightly effeminate, possibly gay, totally fabulous son.”

I love these children. The children who are honest about who they are. Even if their parents just don’t understand. Even if it’s just for now. Even if it’s just for them.



So Last Week .84

In this week’s sex news you may have missed there’s a whole lot of Weiner going on. Plus, a look back at viagra, why women fake orgasms and should condoms be mandatory in porn? It’s all (er, mostly) So Last Week.

  • Rep. Anthony Weiner gets teary-eyed about his weiner pics. (Jezebel), and then the gym pics emerge, (ABC) and then, today, he checks into rehab. (TheFrisky)
  • Education Through Erection. What we can all learn from Rep. Weiner’s weiner. (DebraHaffner)
  • Fear of intimacy leads women to fake orgasms. (LiveScience)
  • Viagra: The thrill that was. (NYTimes)
  • School for pregnant girls and young mothers to close in Detroit. (Maddowblog)
  • The business of selling breast  milk. (CafeMom)
  • Five greatest moments in video game sex. (LAWeekly)
  • CAL/OSHA wants porn performers to wear condoms, and get rid of mandatory testing. What do performers think? (trvewestcoastfiction)
  • Has equality destroyed your sex life? (DailyMail)
  • The investor’s guide to love and real estate. (SMHAU)

Girls Gone Juicy

Girls Gone Juicy, the hot sox podcast is ready to be heard. Yee-haw.  It’s me and Barbie Davenporte dishing on things like facials (cum on the face), how small penises can rock if you know how to use them, entry techniques, and sex, lots of sex. Of course we also talk about other things like video games, but really, this podcast comes down to semen, sex and seduction.

Second, thanks to Gram Ponante, America’s beloved porn journalist, Sexy Tales has a site. It’s a work in progress, but so am I, and starting Monday I’ll have even more exciting news, or at least I should!

You can subscribe to Hot Sox via itunes too!

Carpe Dickum

Seize the penis.

Is it better to have screwed and lost then never to have screwed at all?

Yesterday I was podcasting (the next Hot Sox podcast will be up on Friday) with the always vivacious Barbie Davenporte of LA Weekly fame. While we discussed a lot on air; penis size, facials (as in ejaculation), if sex is a big deal, we discussed other things mainly off “air,” like the night she had recently spent with a big-hearted, hot and HUNG man among men. I can vouch for his large personality, presence and heart, and I take her word on his actual junk. She says it’s the biggest one she’s ever touched.

Barbie looked happy and glowy. It seemed large, romantic cock had done her good.

I was there when they met. I watched them flirt. I went with them to eat ihop (guilty pleasure). I also watched him float around the room that night, making every woman feel alive. He looked at you, and only you, when he spoke with you, and when he spoke with you, he was fully present. He had a talent for connecting and an amazing memory to boot. I watched him charm Barbie, as he had charmed many of the women in that room. But when it came to his eyes on the prize, he wanted to eat Barbie alive. It’s one of those things I could sense.

Barbie saw an opportunity, and seized it. Incredible sex with a tall, dark, and handsome partner. I haven’t done that in a while. My last one-night stand left me feeling dirty and well, like so so so so so dirty, that I wanted to pull my vagina out to make sure I could clean in those hard to reach places (remember: the vagina is a self-cleaning oven). I haven’t wanted to have sex on the first night ever since, but then I wonder why not?

After watching Barbie glow, I’m a believer. Sometimes it does a body good to seize the dude, the day, and the dick.

Hot Sex: Penis Size

Normally Hot Sex on Tuesday is a post about my soon to be released book, Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight! but that’s “normally” and anyone who knows me knows that I don’t do “normal” well. Veering off topic today, after having spent too many minutes staring at Rep. Anthony Weiner’s seemingly large member (see above), I want to talk about the matter of size and I’m hoping to hear from men and women who have sex with guys born with the hardware (or software, depending on his state) that we call penis.

Penis size. Does the size of his penis matter to you? Does the size of your penis matter to you? Has penis size ever been a deal breaker in a relationship?

Yes, the size of his penis is a topic that makes some of us squirm (yes, bigger is better), and others of us shrug (no, it’s no big deal). According to this article in Men’s Health, an article that has nothing to do with six pack abs, yahoo!, and this LA after dark blog post, women don’t care how low, high, or long he hangs. It’s more in his head. If anything, thickness matters for women and that’s because of the amount of nerve endings in the first one-third of the vagina. Still, most women surveyed said it doesn’t matter what you’ve got as long as you know how to make her orgasm. That’s fine for heterosexual couples, but since gay dudes don’t have pussy, what’s size like for them?

Sex with a large penis isn’t generally all that either. It can be like dating a model. When someone has a relatively large cock, like when they’re extremely good-looking, lots of times they think that all they need to do is show up to make sex worth his or her while. With that attitude, the sex is generally pretty bad, no matter how hot they are. Still, when someone looks like Shrek, or believes that their cock isn’t gods gift to humankind, they are way more into learning how to please, because they have to be. I was talking to a girlfriend about cock size the other day. She once dated a man who’s penis was as big as the base of wine bottle (that’s what she says). She had to tell him, “no way is your penis going inside of me.” I asked her if she would have done the same if his penis dangled like a limp inchworm? Would she have said, “no way is your penis going inside of me?” No.

Here’s full disclosure. I’m writing an article about penis size for Playgirl magazine. The reason I pitched this article is because I struggle with this question, both as a sex educator and a sexual being. I know it’s PC to say size doesn’t matter, and it’s factual to back it up with research like this. And when research says guys, don’t worry, we’ve checked out the penises of 11,531 men and can now tell you average size (5.5 - 6.2 inches) and that falling above or below this is a-okay too, y’know, it’s not the size of the wave, it’s the motion of the ocean, I do jump on the bandwagon and say “hey guys, don’t worry, be happy. Really it’s your personality and looks that matter most. Besides learn how to make your partner happy and you’re golden.” I wonder what it must be like for those guys who don’t have personality, or looks, or skill enough to learn how to master other people’s orgasms? Not everyone with a small penis has a large personality or Ben Harper good looks. And gay guys, how far does personality and looks go for you? Does that matter more than penis size?

How often do we lie to ourselves about the type of penis we really want? How often are we disappointed when we see what we don’t expect (especially those tall guys with the small penises)? Is it alright to be disappointed?

I don’t have all the answers, but I do have lots of questions. And if you have a moment, and would like to contribute to Playgirl‘s article on the matter of size, or does size matter, please fill out my easy, breezy, and quick 10 question survey too.

Click here to take survey

© Copyright Jamye Waxman M.Ed.