The following Hump Day post is not meant to be taken too seriously:
Last night I was sitting around a fire with a few good friends, two of them who are married and of different ethnic and religious backgrounds. It doesn’t matter where they’re from, as soon as you meet them, you know they’re different. They have children together, and so when the man, we’ll call him Rex, said that after three kids he must be “Jewish by injection” (we later determined it would be by insertion), it sparked a silly dialogue that led to two new terms we like to think we made up, and now they’re ours (diabolical laugh). Actually, you may read this and be like, what were they smoking, and all I can say was, we weren’t all smoking. That being said, I believe that in order for any religion to officially recognize the following two new terms, “by injection” or “by insertion,” one must produce an offspring of the combined two humans, and present their human life form to both the rabbi and cantor, priest, shaman, universal life minister or whomever, and get thee verified by a higher order.
By injection: This refers to the partner being penetrated. S/he becomes “religion/ethnicity” by being injected by her partner’s penis. If the Jamaican male partner were penetrating his “Jewish” wife with his swizzle stick, she would become “Jamaican by injection.”
****NOTE: This wouldn’t work in the Jewish religion, because there’s a law somewhere that says in order for a child to be recognized as Jewish, his mother must be Jewish.
By insertion: This refers to the partner doing the penetrating and ejaculating (most of the time, because again, in order to fully become something by insertion/injection you must produce the proof in the pudding). Let’s take the same couple from above, the nice Jamaican man with the swizzle stick. He becomes “Jewish by insertion” after reproduction.
Happy Hump Day!
Posted by jamye
