I was recently forwarded a post from Moxie in the City.
The post, entitled “Is This the New Anal?” started out talking about hentai, which according to wikipedia is:
Hentai (変態 or へんたい?) is a Japanese word that can be used to mean “metamorphosis” or “abnormality”. In Japan “hentai” has a strong negative connotation, and is commonly used to mean “sexually perverted”. In the West the term is used as slang for sexually explicit or pornographic comics and animation, particularly Japanese anime, manga and computer games. Hentai anime and manga allow elements of sexual fantasy to be represented in ways that would be impossible to film. This may include portrayals of sexual acts which are physically impossible, unacceptable in society, or run counter to social norms. Examples include extreme bondage, creatures with tentacles, and other fetishes. Shunga artists like Yoshitoshi and Kuniyoshi showed gang rape, erotic crucifixion, and even forced late third-trimester abortions by a “cannibal witch.”
Somehow, the discussion went from hentai to strap-on sex - where a man takes it up the the black hole of uranus (aka the bum)! The conversation stopped being about hentai, where strap-on sex can happen, but it wouldn’t just be regular strap-on, and became about “bend over boyfriend” sex in general.
And so, Moxie writes (I left the typos in because I don’t like to change other people’s words):
Okay. I don’t get it. The strap on thing? My feleing is, that when a woman does that to a man, it’s to humiliate and dominate him. To brand him in a way. To make him her bitch. Yet, I think when a man wants to have anal with his girlfriend, it’s because the pleasure is greater for him. It’s more of a primal urge. Apparetly, according to Deep Throat, hentai is the new anal. Have I missed a memo some where? Is this what the kids are in to these days? And am I way off with my feelings about women using a strap on on men? Is it possible that this here “blow job queen” is a prude?
While I could comment on her blog, I’d rather write my own opinion here, in my space on my own time. And my opinion is that what she says about strap-on sex is off base. For me, when I want to strap it on, the thought of which happens more than the actual act, it’s because I love the trust and intimacy that comes with penetrating, or getting penetrated, during the act of anal sex. Yes, whether I stick something in him, or whether he sticks his ding up my dong (ding=penis and dong=butt), I feel like I’m doing a most intimate sex act.
I’m not trying to brand him, not trying to make him my bitch, unless of course that’s the role play that we decide we want to do, but it’s not the role play I generally think of when I want hot! butt! sex! In fact anal, for me, is all about feeling safe and respected and I will only do it with someone I care about. It is intimate and you have to fully relax in order to enjoy it (oh, and use lube) and I’m not just about to let anyone tear me a new asshole. Literally, because without lube that can happen - well, not a new one, but your rectum is very delicate and can tear easily, especially without lube. Lots of lube.
Yeah, the butt is tight and that’s part of the appeal for men, but why the double standard when it comes to appeal. What about stimulating his prostate through penetration? What about playing with gender? What about just finding new ways to love and rub and kiss and cuddle? For me, that’s what strap on sex is also about.
For Moxie - you can read her full post here.
March 7th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
When my girl said to me, “Someday I’d like to fuck you in the ass with a strap-on”, I thought to myself, “yeah, like you’re going to know me long enough for that to happen.”
Six months later, I was asking her for more.
That more than 10 years ago….we lost touch, got to be friends again, and now, I’m getting her a feeldoe for her birthday this year.
March 8th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
Ciao Jamye,
I could not agree with you more. Strap-on sex is not about humiliation, it is about the pleasure that is received from the prostate, and the enjoyment of penetration for both people involved.
There is so much pleasure that can be received from the prostate that it is mind blowing. I own an Aneros (3 models), Nexus Vibro, feeldoe and countless other toys.
PS. I love your blog and everything about you.
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