Maybe it’s better this way. Then you can’t see how my left eyelid droops lower than my right.

Eyes Wide Shut. No, not the movie, I never sat through that entire piece of Kubrick, partially because it’s too damn long and partially because the only time I found Tom Cruise sexy was back in Risky Business. I did have to watch that fantastical sex scene in EWS, but now, I don’t even remember what that was all about. And it’s not that Tom Cruise isn’t sexy, I do see why some people have a more than minor obsession with the guy, but he isn’t all that “my kind of sexy.” Not that I know what my kind of sexy is anymore, since, well, since I just don’t know.

Eyes wide shut is referring to the fact that I can’t keep my eyes wide open. I didn’t shut them last night until 3:36AM, much later than I had ever anticipated, and I tried to open them at 9:17 this morning. However at 9:17AM I was not all that successful, still I did roll out of bed by 9:53. And this, to me, would explain why I can’t keep my eyes open. There was a study somewhere that someone sent me that said that people who sleep longer are less likely to be fat. That could explain why I feel so plump and round right now. I am not getting enough sleep. Today it was six hours, yesterday it was six hours, but those six hours were interrupted by a rather delirious elderly lady who was supposed to drive me back into the city at 6AM, but instead of hearing that I was not going back to sleep and would indeed be waiting up for her, she heard “forget it, I’m going back to sleep,” and I (not so ironically) waited up the next two hours for her to never show. Dumb people with bad hearing, my newest pet peeve.

New Years Resolutions.
I didn’t make any resolutions this year, I realize this now. Resolutions are so everybody’s “doing it” that I find them quite hard to believe in. But I have changed my lifestyle a lot, especially in these past few days, and to me this is better than anything I could have promised myself on the day that everybody else does it. What makes the transition from Dec. 31 to Jan. 1 so much more important than the transition from say, Oct. 31 to Nov. 1? I understand, but not really.

I’m going to try to shut my eyes while I think about the new year. For at least 30 minutes, I think I can squeeze in some sort of cat nap. Unless of course the phone should ring, or the cat should step on my face, this will be undisturbed sleep. Okay enough not making any sense. I’m done. No more eyes wide shut. I’m just going to close them.