Buttman is Free: A long overdue post

Buttman is free.

That might mean nothing to you, or it might sound totally inappropriate, or appropriate, depending on if you’re the tits or ass type. And if knowing that Buttman is free doesn’t exactly change your life, don’t feel bad, it hasn’t changed my life either, but it has got me thinking.

Here’s my disclaimer: I don’t consider what I do to be wrong, and what I do deals with sex and sometimes even porn. And if you think what I do is wrong, that’s your choice. I respect that you don’t have to like my work or me; I respect that all people have choices, and I will never force you to see things my way, or support my causes. But if you’re one of the kinds of people that believe you know what’s best for everyone, then you and I won’t get along at all.

So who is Buttman, besides a guy who really loves ass? John Stagliano is Buttman and he was the one the feds came after. He’s a producer, director, entrepreneur and actor. He owns Evil Angel, a company that makes porn. From regularly eccentric (what’s regular, really?) to especially fetishy, Buttman makes the types of movies that turn a bunch of people on, and off.

Just this month he was on the verge of going to prison for up to 32 years for producing and distributing some of his movies. The feds called them obscene. He went to federal court in DC, in a case called The United States vs. John Stagliano. So what is obscene? By definition it is (since 1973’s Miller v. California) “whether the average person, applying contemporary community standards, would find that work, taken as a whole, appeals to the prurient interest.” Of course questions abound. What community)? Whose standards? What defines prurient interest (since 1984 prurient interest has been defined as a shameful and morbid interest in nudity, sex, or excretion.”)

32 years is a long time to be locked up behind bars for a rather hazy definition. He didn’t kill anyone, rape , beat, stone, bludgeon or commit hate crimes or other heinous acts against mankind. He didn’t cheat or steal, or run over helpless kittens. His alleged crime wasn’t even purely his own, but someone had to pay. And since it was his company, his Evil Angel productions that produced and distributed the very movies that “they” found disgusting, he would be the one to take the rap.

Milk Nympho and Storm Squirters 2: Target Practice. Interested? Some federal agents were.  Back in April of 2008. They ordered them online, from Washington DC. He shipped them from California and then was charged on multiple counts of obscenity.

Stagliano isn’t the first pornographer in recent years to get smacked on the ass by the hands of the law, a.k.a the men and women who think they know what’s right for everyone else, even people they don’t know at all. Whether or not you agree with the content of Max Hardcore, or Lizzy Borden & Rob Black art doesn’t have to be high brow, it doesn’t even have to be good, to be art. I’ve seen toilet paper rolls stapled to walls in famous modern museums being called art, so the definition of art may be just as loose as that of obscene. Regardless of whether or not you regard it as art, it’s out there.

When it comes to our first amendment rights, what bothers me still is that Stagliano didn’t get off because he was found innocent. He got off because the prosecution wasn’t strong, or hard – as the case may be, enough. There’s no new law in place, no precedent set. Instead, this is just another respite, a place where we, those of us who devote our lives to teaching and making the kinds of things that straddle the line of this word “obscene,” can continue to work on what we do. While we all work on changing how we view sex on film.

And it’s not just porn being censored. For a horrific look into the movie ratings industry, please watch the 2006 documentary, This Film is Not Yet Rated. You’ll be shocked at what goes on before your very eyes (get to see it.) Or at least I hope you will.

And thanks to Reason too, for their excellent, in-depth coverage of the Stagliano case.

so last week .40

This week’s so last week, sex news you may have missed is number happy. From the AskMen 2010 survey to the Daily Beast’s “Sex: Who’s Having the Most?,” discover the numbers of people doing what they do and how they do it. Oh, so vague, yes, but that’s because there’s more below.

  • The Great Male Survey. 2010 Edition. What dudes think about sex, dating, cheating and facebook. (AskMen)
  • Erika Lust. Pornographer. Feminist. Author. Intelligent Conversationalist.  (Alternet)
  • “America will always be intrigued with sexy little pieces of jailbait — but, as it turns out, we’re not too comfortable with the notion of them getting off on their own devices.” The Taylor Momsen moment. (Salon)
  • 15 ways to tell if you’re getting lucky more, or less, than the rest of us. (DailyBeast)
  • Is polygamy harmful to society? A Canadian scholar studies those who marry more than one woman. (VancouverSun)
  • Astrology gone wild: What happens when a relationship ends over the time of day you were born. (YourTango)
  • Team Edward! Team Jacob! Vampire Sex. Reality vs. Fantasy. My advice and then some. (TheStir)
  • When a kitten masturbates, who does God kill? (CarnalNation)
  • Men with long ring fingers are more likely to get prostate cancer. (Independent)
  • Cytherea. Patience is a squirtue (NSFW). (GramPonante)

TIT: The Last (BIG) Hurrah

In this week’s TIT (Thursday I Talk), I “phone a friend.” It’s the newest Hot Sox Podcast and I get to talk with not one! but two! friends - Ian and Alicia Denchasy of Freddy and Eddy.

The topic? The last hurrah, and I don’t mean this last hurrah. I’m not even sure I mean a last hurrah like the pic below:

Picture via wonderxxx

Here’s the question(s). What do you do if you know that the sex you’re having with someone is about to end but you’ve got one more big “hurrah” planned and you’re going to see them for days in a row? Does it have to be sad? Do you have a threesome? Go to an orgy? Keep it simple and enjoy the intimacy that’s already there?

If it’s not going to get any more emotionally connected (fingers crossed) but you’re still about to connect for a week, how do you go out with a big bang?

Yeah, I’m using “you,” but this time it’s personal.

Listen: New podcast up on itunes.

Sex PR: The Butt

This week’s sex product review isn’t a toy per se (although there is a Spareparts HardWear Harness in the review for a minute), today I, sex educator JamYe WaXman review the butt. I prefer the word ass honestly, but whatever word you like for your rear, I hope you like (and love) your bum a lot.

so last week .39

This week’s so last week, sex news you may have missed delves into politics, censorship and sex. From the next wave of conscientious objection to the case against John Stagliano (aka Buttman), who’s in control of your sexual preferences? Plus research suggests marriage suffers from a 12-year itch and more! more! more!

  • Conscientious objection. For getting out of the military, serving with gay and lesbians is a sucky excuse. (NYTimes)
  • New research finds that if the 4- or 7-year itch don’t getcha, the 12-year itch can. A new study suggests most marriages fail around the 12-year mark.  (DailyMail)
  • Do you think you can think yourself to orgasm? (CBSNews)
  • The US vs. John Stagliano. The first obscenity prosecution brought in the nation’s capital in a quarter-century is thrown out. What does this mean for the rest of us?  (WashingtonPost and Reason)
  • Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston, doing it right (fist in air) doing it together. Making a go as a family. (TheFrisky)
  • All joy and no fun. Why parents hate parenting. (NYMag)
  • Religious sex toys. Are they sacrilegious, even if Jesus helps you find “Oh G-d”? (TheStir)
  • Porn and masturbation: The Double Whammy of Evil. (PsychologyToday)
  • When bigger isn’t better: meet a model who’s boobs could be the death of her. (Sun)
  • Sex education for kindergartens isn’t teaching them how to have sex. In Montana, the debate rages on. (FoxNews via Youtube)

SPR: Screaming O Vibrating Ring

This week’s sex product review is the very basic Screaming O disposable vibrating ring. Designed to be worn on a penis, it can also be used with a dildo, another extremity, or other sex toys. The Screaming O vibrating ring is an easy introduction into the world of love rings, or as they’re more likely called, cock rings. So what is a cock ring? Watch the review and find out.

Website: www.thescreamingo.com

Vanilla Sex: A podcast

Tomorrow, another sex product review (routine switch up) but after being featured on the random “new and noteworthy” section of the itunes podcast page (thanks to Ian for the screengrab)

I decided that doing another podcast would be delightful and good for the old routine, in the same way that sticking to a routine in sex, one where you have it regularly scheduled, keeps you, or you and your lover, interested in having more sex.  It had been too long (two weeks) and this new and noteworthy random nod was the perfect motivation to get me back on track after going off track (NY seems to do that to me) for the past two weeks.

I found fodder for my mouth at carnal nation. Midori had posted on the joy of vanilla sex, celebrating the idea that vanilla sex can be just as exciting as kinky sex, or chocolate sex, or any other type of sex you like.

So in this podcast I sing the praises of loving vanilla sex. After being a chocolate girl my whole life (ice cream that is), I’ve even made the switch there. So piggybacking on Midori, take a listen to why I celebrate vanilla!

Kiss, kiss.

TIT2: Tuesdays I Talk too.

Freddy and Eddy. Happy and Hooping.

Sometimes it’s Tuesday, sometimes it’s Thursday (as I type this I hear an old Jewish grandmother asking do want rye, or pastrami, and I don’t know why), but regardless of when I talk, I’m a talker.

I had to share because I’m really digging this comfortable dialogue with my family and friends, Freddy and Eddy on their behind the white picket fence podcast.  So, check out what i have to say about positions and lovers. Yeah.

Link: http://www.freddyandeddy.com/Podcasts/positionspodcast20.mp3

so last week .38

From what’s going on with gays in the military. to the men of the World Cup, there’s a lot of excitement in this week’s So Last Week, Sex News You May Have Missed.

  • So Today: It’s still discrimination. Why is the US military polling troops about Gays? (Time)
  • So Last Year: The end of men. Are guys the new ball and chain? (TheAtlantic)
  • Czech Republic. Feminism, politics and sex combine in calendar-girl-form. (WSJ)
  • The Ethicist on when to out a transgendered person. (NYTimes) GLAADS response. (GLAAD)
  • China. Making most of our sex toys, but not promoting making sex. (AsiaOne)
  • The House passes a bill. It’s about porn and the workplace. (AVN)
  • On the other side of the Atlantic, one British Hospital brings porn into the workplace. Literally. (NYDailyNews)
  • Mel Gibson. Still creepy after all these years. (HuffPost)
  • So Yesterday: World Cup Thighlights of Spain’s moment. Photography for those who watch the players, not the ball. (Jezebel)

Sex Product Review: BonBon

Live (at the time it was filmed on my iPhone) from my parent’s den, and more accurately my mother’s treadmill, it’s my latest sex product review. This week (yes, another day late) it’s Natural Contours BonBon. It’s got a good look, (like a chocolate kiss) and a light touch and c’est vrai, c’est très mignon (if you don’t know the french, feel free to look it up

Plus it makes a nice addition for any collector of spaceship like sex toys. Or any collector of toys that look like candy. Or, maybe not.

Check out more Natural Contours here too!

© Copyright Jamye Waxman M.Ed.