Ellen Stagg shot me for the 2010 NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar in her backyard in Brooklyn. I brought the hose and my mother’s vintage 70’s bathing suit.

This is the picture that almost went in the calendar. But almost doesn’t count…or does it?

Photo Credit: E Stagg

Vulvita and I took a trip to the Pleasure Chest last week in Chicago. A good time was had by all. Here’s Vulvita, waiting for, and then relaxing on, the brown line.

Sex News Square Down #22 is full of scandal and celebrity. From Sugar Babies to Scarlett Johansson, sex is in the appeal.

• Sugar daddys, mommys and babies aren’t only the names of chewy candies. In an article from this weekend’s NY Times Magazine, sugar babies outnumber sugar daddies at a rate of 10 to 1 at seekingarrangement.com. Interesting factoid: “…since the 1970s, courts have ruled that as long as the woman is paid for some service besides sex — housecleaning, companionship — the arrangement is not the equivalent of prostitution.” Question is, even if it was prostitution, is there something inherently wrong with that? It is the oldest profession. And interesting article on the age old dilemma of paying for sex. (NY Times Magazine)
• RIP Marilyn Chambers. (LA Times Blog)
• The”gay and lesbian” Amazon scandal gives birth to amazonfail. (WSJ Blogs)
  
• How to do it under water : Isabella Rossellinni makes sea animal sex sound hot (even if it looks strange) in Green Porno 2 (Sundance Channel)
• Scarlett Johansson gets heavy about her weight loss. And it’s a good piece because a healthy body image helps you to feel sexy, and sexy is as sexy does, and sexy often leads to sex, if you’re in the mood for it at least. (Huffington Post)

Life is changing for me as I post this, which is also the excuse as to why it’s been so difficult to keep up with my blog these past two weeks. I want to write about it ALL, or at least about this Sex in America panel I went to two weeks ago, and also about my trip to Jamaica, but right now I’m moving things around and shaking them up, and the truth is I have a mess to clean up (literally, in the room I now sit). So for now I will leave you with an HNT from last Thursday, in my hotel room at Hedo 2 where yes, there are mirrors on the ceilings.

Originally published in Xbiz, here’s my review of Babeland’s Sasi.

If you like your sex toys as smart, or possibly smarter, than your sex partners, the Sasi is the latest in intellectual, and erotic, stimulation.  Like it’s predecessor the Je Joue, the Sasi moves in ways no other vibrator can. It dances circles around your clit, or it can spend time on the left upper quadrant alone. And, it goes up and down with more fluidity than most of the contestants on So You Think You Can Dance.

While Sasi may get you off quickly, it’s definitely meant to be enjoyed leisurely. It’s not the vibe I’d go to when I just want to have a quick orgasm. The vibration is an option, but not necessary to get the feel of a good lover’s tongue, and it’s nowhere near as intense as the Hitachi Magic Wand. If you don’t like a movement, you can teach the Sasi to skip it, because yes, this toy is smart enough to learn. If you like something that your Sasi is doing, you can hit the power button once (when the toy is on it becomes the “don’t stop” button) and Sasi will remember what you likey, likey and make you keep getting more of it. Plus it’s rechargeable, you can change the faceplate (for the fashion conscious out there) and the silicone sleeve is easy to remove and wash.

Truth is, I need more time with this toy. I like what it does because nothing else like it exists, but with a hefty price tag ($185) you can always find a cheaper date to give you cunnilingus. The question remains - do you want to have to make small talk?

 The petite and powerful We-vibe. Yes, it’s really that small.

Although I can’t find the charger for my We-Vibe, it was, and hopefully will be, a favored toy in my home. Here’s my Xbiz review of this little purple pleasure:

There is no “I” in We-Vibe and that’s just the way it should be. That’s because this is the first, in my opinion, highly thought-out, and executed couples vibrator, that is NOT a cock ring. A seriously cool design and an awesome stow-away case (it looks like a sunglass case), the We-Vibe doesn’t look cheap, embarrassing or otherwise inappropriate.

And it works well too.

It’s purple, why is that like the most popular color for sex toys these days?, and designed to be stay inside her vagina, and on her clit, during sexual intercourse with a penis or dildo. The vibration is felt on both ends of the toy, which provides extra “tingle-ation” to the clit, the G-spot and a penis. As long as both your partner’s dick and the toy can fit inside your vaginal opening together (a problem for some couples), it can help her achieve orgasms, or more intense orgasms, during sexual intercourse. You’ll have to work on the positions that feel most comfortable, but you can definitely use the We-Vibe in multiple ways. Plus, it fills the vagina more, which adds a little extra girth to the less thick members of society, and it’s rechargeable. It’s not easy to find the on-off switch at first (it’s only one speed), so read the instructions, and I had to use my hand to hold the toy to my clit to get the best buzz, which, in reality, isn’t  a problem.

One other thing, the silicone coating can hurt those of you out there who still have their pubes, so use some lube on the toy (and your pubic hair) before you begin. And it’s expensive, but if you’ve got the money and the partner, it’s definitely one of the more interesting toys you can try.

Buy it at Babeland

If you’ve never bought a vibe before, or even if you have, you can get a brief intro to the vibrator in this piece from Cherry TV. Basically, if you want to get a vibe, whether it be your first or well, not your first, if it were up to me, I wouldn’t spend a lot (under $50), and I’d go for something hard and plastic. I think hard plastic has the strongest vibration, or at least the possibility for strong vibration, whereas a lot of softer vibes never produce enough power. Of course if you don’t want a lot of power, you don’t need to go hard and plastic, but I like being able to play with power. Know what I mean?

One other note: If you just watched the above video, or if you’re about to, I ask you to forgive my long pauses. I was hoping they’d be edited out, but they obviously weren’t. Sometimes I just talked too long without taking a break, and I simply needed to spit or swallow my spit, and without edits, the “natural” sound of a pause (while I swallow) is what you get. I think lots of us have had this dilemma before (to spit or swallow), only not necessarily while being filmed for the interweb.

Tune in next Tuesday for another tip, technique or teachable moment, cause I’m trying to actually get myself on a schedule, so you know what you’ll get on this blog every time you check me out. And that means Tuesday is Tip Tuesday. Are you as excited as I am?

Another toy reviewed for my your pleasure. And it’s not too large for those worried about things being too large.

Delta by Tantus

I love Tantus, Inc. Not only because they’re toys are made from 100% Ultra-Premium Platinum Silicone (sounds so fancy, right?) but because they truly do makes some of the best high, quality soft sex toys. And the fact that they’re non-porous, odorless, boilable and completely non-toxic only helps to make my panties wet, err, more wet.

This month it was Tantus’ Elements - Delta for my pussy, or ass, to review (I chose pussy), and with it’s curved longer limb and it’s short, stubby nub I knew exactly the types of places it could go. The shape reminds me of the pointer finger and thumb of a hand, the kind that’s ready to “come hither” in your nether-lands. Beautifully designed for both the G-spot and the anus (yes, with that curve and a flared base to prove it), the nub feels great on the clit or perineum, and the longer bit is there to massage a G-spot or prostate. And it even comes with a vibrating bullet to insert into the center of the stylized flared base. My only question is, how does one reach said base? I mean if you get the whole length inside of you, you’ve still got the external nub, which makes it impossible to actually get down to the bottom of the toy. Still the ridges on the base were a comfortable place to keep my fingers, especially as I moved the toy in and out of my box. The vibrator was quiet and powerful, at least for as long as it lasted, which was around 30 minutes. I wanted to go for multiple orgasms, but without replacement batteries I began to lose my buzz, and so I went to bed instead. Still, the Delta did me right, even if it didn’t last all night.

reprinted with permission by Xbiz.

I’ve posted below a “volley” between me and Daniel Pinchbeck. We’re both in the desert now, so I figured I’d share what happened before we left. You can read more at Reality Sandwich.

The set up: Daniel wrote to me about my sex toy review for Njoy’s Eleven. But it wasn’t really about the toy, more about the movement.

Daniel said:

Hi Jamye,

I wonder if you or others still feel there is anything liberating about these types of gadgets anymore, or is it more just feeding an empty craving for endless sensation?

I remember reading about the “God Realm,” one of the bardos in the Tibetan Book of the Dead. It was said that the Gods could have unbelievable pleasure - incredible orgasms that lasted millenia - but ultimately it didn’t really matter. Because of the fabulous comforts surrounding them, they would never attain enlightenment, and when they finally died, after so many hundreds of thousands of years, they would reincarnate back in a lower bardo, and have to go through the entire incarnational cycle again.

Eventually we will probably have the capacity to put electrodes in our brain and stimulate orgasms at great length upon demand. Will that be a good thing?

What’s beyond sexual liberation and its addiction or enslavement to the orgasm?

At some point, you might want to check out the book, “Pain, Sex, and Time” by Gerald Heard

And then I said…

Read more »

The only column I’m writing right now is for Xbiz. What I love about “Toolz of the Trade” is that I get to try some of the coolest sexy gadgets for one’s goodies. What I love less about it is that some of these toys, like the one below, are really expensive and not realistic options for a lot of people. Besides, you don’t need to spend a lot of money on a sex toy to find a really good sex toy. However, if you can, and you want to, or even if you’re just curious enough to read the review below, I love that I get to be the one to test out what for me would often seem like unattainable purchases. I seem to be thinking about good vibrations, because yesterday’s post was about a vibrator. Well, today’s post is too.

Jimmy Jane’s Form 6 helped me understand why a man might be threatened by a vibe. Not that he should be, but if he were going to be, the Form 6 has more speeds, functions and vibratory power then any penis I know. It’s also really pretty and well thought out. The smaller more curvy side hit my G-spot perfectly, and the longer, wider side packed a nice, large vibratory punch.

Truth be told, I wasn’t expecting to like this toy as much as I did. The various features (five different levels of pulsing, various speeds and the vibratory option on one or both ends) was more than I usually need, and although I’ve never cared about color before, I would have definitely preferred the green color to the purple one I was using. But it’s just so darn nice. And the curve! Oh the curve! I really liked having so many excellent choices.

I have to save I loved this toy, but no toy is perfect. The Form 6 does have a lot of removable and important pieces, like the base for the charger and the cord itself, and for people like me, who tend to lose things; you’ll have to make sure to keep it together. For about a day I lost my charger base, making my toy go from priceless to worthless, but when I found the charger all became right in the world again. (I checked the Jimmy Jane website and didn’t see an option to buy just the replacement charger). And it’s easy to shut the toy off in the middle of the action….almost too easy. Admittedly, I’m not one to read instructions, so it may be my fault a little, but still, I’d seen, and held, this toy enough to know what I was doing. And the last downer, it is really expensive. So while this makes a great toy for someone with tons of disposable income, it’s not a toy for the rest of us.

But, like I said, when I got do doing it right, it felt great. Fantastic for internal stimulation and powerful for clitoral stimulation. It has a great curve and I know it would feel great on your neck, your arms and his penis too.

If penis somehow went extinct, and women still had the Form 6, pleasure would go on. That being said, it’s nice to have penis around too

Price: $175.00. Available at Babeland.