(Christina Aguilera on MTV)
This past weekend in Ft. Lauderdale I met a husband and wife team who were selling vajazzle supplies for vaginas (vulvas actually, but vagina just rolls off the tongue easier), and ice luges that looked like boobs and penis. They were really stoked about their products and even offered me a free sample of vajazzle, but I forgot to pick up the rainbow rhinestone packet before they bolted. It was the only one I could see myself using, although they had other pre-made (and predictable) ideas, like hearts and rainbows and words like “sexy”.
For those who don’t know what vajazzling is, here’s a more detailed primer, but basically it’s bedazzling a woman’s vulva. She starts by taking off all/most/some pubic hair and then places shiny rhinestones, or crystals, in a pattern on the mound of her vajayjay. Jennifer Love Hewitt brought it to the nation’s attention when, in January, she discussed it on Lopez Tonight while promoting her book, The Day I Shot Cupid: Hello, My Name Is Jennifer Love Hewitt and I’m a Love-aholic.
While vajazzle became all the rage - or did it really ever become “the” rage?, one salon decided there had to be a less blingy option. So now there’s vatooing, getting a temporary tattoo for her twat, something she’ll be able to do herself pretty soon - Sacred Kitty has a DIY version they’re about to release. If you can’t wait, and must…have…, or you don’t want to DIY, you can get your crotch waxed and airbrushed at Completely Bare
I visited Completely Bare when I lived in NYC (full disclosure: as a producer of Naked New York I went there for free laser hair armpit removal treatment. After 6 treatments and no follow-up, the hair grew back) and they have always been cutting-edge and have been vajazzling for as long as it’s been raging, but now there’s vatooing.
“Vatooing, is also known as “twatooing,” “vatuing,” or simply “vagina tattooing.”
It’s not painful. The procedure involves hair removal (the most painful part) and an airbrush design of her choice placed on the mons pubis of her pussy. She can opt for classy innuendos like “69,” or more intricate designs that she creates and chooses the colors. Me? I’d either get something that glows and looks trippy (I am off to Burning Man) or something like Fuck Me - direct and to the point. Vatooing (aka crotchal airbrushing) lasts up to one week as long as you forego intense friction or cameltoe.
I’m all into decorating your bits for your self-love or someone eles’s love of your self (full disclosure: I’ve yet to do it), but what about guys? Can they pejazzle or petoo, too? Cause I’d have him wax his mound and make him look like Gonzo the Great (depending on how he hangs), wouldn’t you?