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Wednesday, January 13 2010

Sex with Conan or Jay?

With all the hubabaloo surrounding Jay Leno’s return to late night, (you can where Conan’s head is at here), I got to thinking about why I’d way rather have sex with Conan than Jay, and it’s not just that I have a thing for ginger men. I’m talking in the flesh sex, but if I was like a lot of people who get into bed, turn on the “Tonight Show” and then have some nookie while listening to the opening monologue, I’d still rather have sex to Conan than Jay. Here are my reasons why:

  1. Conan isn’t only dorky cute, he’s got the Harvard degree (and was President of the Harvard Lampoon) plus he wrote some of the best episodes of the Simpsons, and that’s only one of the TV shows he wrote for (SNL and Not Necessarily the News are two others (not necessarily to happen in that order). That makes him not just paper-smart, but hilarious to boot. Two qualities that are important in a partner - humor and good head (of the intelligent kind).
  2. Jay Leno’s jaw may be big and manly, and I’m a sucker for pronounced jaw line, but Conan O’Brien’s got more forehead - which isn’t always attractive, but maybe it’s because he’s got more brain?…okay, that’s not a point for either of them.
  3. Conan co-wrote a sketch for SNL where the word penis was used A LOT. I’m going to assume that means Conan’s in touch with his. And anyone in touch with their penis, is good by me. He’s also appeared in the South Park movie, and Robot Chicken.  Again, it goes back to the humor.
  4. Jay Leno was creepy and scripted at the Michael Jackson trial on child sex abuse.
  5. Conan is in way better shape, and taller. I don’t mind the tall men.
  6. Conan has bigger fingers, and even if what they say about bigger hands (and feet) really doesn’t hold true all the time, if it holds true some of the time, then this may be one of those times.
  7. Leno does do great charity work, and a lot of it, plus he rides a motorcycle (two big points here) and he does seem like a really nice guy. But I’ve always been attracted to the bad boys anyway, and although Conan doesn’t come off as “bad” necessarily, I know he could be. Bad. Very Bad. In all the best ways.

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One Response to “Sex with Conan or Jay?”

  1. Trixie Says:

    Ooooh!! Oddly enough I’d rather have sex with Jay even though I am (or was, before the switch) a Conesy fan. I think it happened observing Jay with Martha Stewart once; he acted so familiar and flirtatious with her, like I could almost feel his hand on my ass in the kitchen — it was super duper hot (to me, at least). Conan and Martha are totally hilarious together, but seeing Jay with Martha made me perceive him in a sexual way I’d never considered before. Conesy would be all about the “antics”.

    I know, it’s weird that somehow Martha Stewart is like my sex surrogate test case. I would totally love to bone Martha though and smear her titties with buttery mashed potatoes.

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