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Monday, October 2 2006

My Iris

Should I take viagra without a prescription? I don’t need it, but was asked to write about it for a column. Should I try it just once? I don’t know if I could do it. Would love to know what somoene else thinks.

Okay..now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

The Iris, in its other color.

I have been, for the most part, using the same vibrator for the past oh, five or six years. It’s always been simple, and easy, and when one of them broke, I could afford to replace it. Lots of companies make it, in lots of different colors, and one even has the waterproof version. So, for under $30 I had found my sure thing. It is and was the Pocket Rocket (or the waterproof Water Dancer). Like I said, my affair with the Pocket Rocket has been going on for years. It’s only got one speed, and I can admit that while at times I find this annoying, for the most part, I don’t mind. I’d even tell people it has multiple speeds once the battery starts to die, but the truth is, I’d always replace the battery before it got to that point. I like a high buzz.

So, when somebody contacted me over at Lelo, asking me if I wanted to try some of their vibrators, I was both happy and scared. Other companies send me sex toys all the time, and I admit I’ve not been all that good in reviewing them, but now this fancy company wanted to give me a chance. I’ve watched Lelo grow over the past few years, and have always followed (not purchased) their products. Truth is, I could never get myself to buy an expensive sex toy when the cheap ones got me off just fine…and that was always my logic. But I’m not so logical anymore. I understand why someone would get themselves a pretty, powerful and pulsing vibe. I understand why I’d buy Lelo.

When the Iris arrived, it came with the Nea (a vibe that I also can’t now wait to try), and I was a bit overwhelmed. These elegant vibes came in these sturdy, black boxes, with thoughtful packaging and for a moment I felt that as a cheap toy whore, I didn’t deserve such an exotic looking present. They were both so beautiful, I almost cried (okay, not really, but dramatic effect here).

The Iris caught my attention with her pale pink body (one of my two favorite colors, the other being green), a beautiful white base and a silver band running around the place where the pink meets the white. It looks like a banana coming out of its peel, or a flower shedding some of its petals. I mean it’s totally artistic. So, I charge her, and as a girl who likes blinkies (those things that light up) I was definitely mesmerized by the way that she charges. Yes, she’s rechargeable, no batteries, another big plus. As she’s charging, her circular button - the one that turns her on and off, up and down, from pulsing to vibrating, is rapidly moving. It’s this pretty blink, and I sit there and watch her for a while, and then go about my business, checking in with her regularly.

If you don’t want graphic details about my masturbatory habits with the Iris, it’s best to end here, and know that I love her, and think she’s worth it. Especially with the holidays not far away. She’d be my pick if you want a fantastic and interesting vibe this Christmas or Hanukah.

If you’re not my father, other family or someone offended by sex toy usage, there’s still more to read.

It’s not long after that - the most a few hours - when I’m ready to give her a go. I’m not much of an internal sex toy girl, but I figure with her well designed, but not overbearing, curve she needs to at least enter my pussy, so I move her inside ever so slightly. Her soft, silicone head feels nice, but I’m desperate to try her on my clit. Having completely foregone reading the instructions (I like to figure out what I can on my own), I decide to play with the button. This is, and isn’t, such a good idea. See, there is only one button and it has five functions and a lot of variation in speed, and I even at one point stop the whole process by hitting the side of the button that makes her go off. I figure out how to turn her on, and find that while I like the vibration - with the Iris you can make her vibrate at the tip, at the base, or both, what I really like are the features that add a pulse. It feels like if someone was rubbing their tongue on my clit, in a continuous motion, without getting tired, and they are teasing me by taking short, firm licks. I love it.

It feels the way I like oral sex to feel once I’m into it. Lots of flicks and a good amount of pressure…and I love how pretty the vibe looks as I’m getting off. And it does the job as quickly or as slowly as I want it to.

I wait 24 hours and use the vibe again. When I take her out, I’m a bit disappointed. See, I’ve cleaned her and put her in this black satin bag that Lelo so nicely provided for her storage, and for some reason, maybe it’s because she wasn’t fully dry when I packed her away (my bad) the black satin has now stained her pretty pink head. I try to wash it off, but it won’t come out. She’s been died black, for better or worse, but only around the rim. I get over it.

I read the instructions this time, which makes it a lot easier to play with her speed (she goes from 0-60 in no time) and also it helps me to understand her function. Plus I’m not turning her off every few minutes. She works like a charm, again I really use her on my clit, but her curve is so nice that I know it would work wonders on my G Spot as well (next time, I promise) and I let her pulse and vibrate away. It’s like the best tongue action, only it can’t replace a man or woman with a tongue cause it’s not looking up at you as it’s going down on you, or holding you, things like that, but I still love it.

The only other negative was that I noticed my charger was falling apart when I plugged it in. It still works though, so I’m not too concerned. All I know is I love my Iris, and if you can’t afford to get one for yourself, I’d say it’s one of the toys I’d ask for in December (for whatever holiday you celebrate).

Truthfully, she’s amazing. And now I kind of feel bad for my water dancer. While I like her just fine, she’s not as fine as the Iris. Right now, no other vibe is.

Tell Me You Love Me


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