having your cake and eating it too…
I don’t think it’s a real word, but the other night, when my flova (friend and lova’) was trying to talk to me, I couldn’t stop fondling his not-so meaty legs. “I feel overtouched!” he said, as he pulled my hands off his body. “I just want to talk for a few minutes. Can’t we just talk?” I felt insulted…I mean, after all, how could he resist my womanly charms?
He immediately apologized because he didn’t mean to hurt my feelings. If you knew him you’d know that even if he says something that sounds as if it could be mean, it really isn’t meant to be that way. “It’s not that I don’t like you touching me,” he added, “only sometimes I need space.”
It’s hard not to feel like a disease infested animal when someone tells you to basically “back off bitch,” but I tried to get over it. Actually, I think I passed out, because I was really tired anyway. But, as my father often does, the next morning I was back to harping on the topic.
“I don’t want to make you feel overtouched,” I began, more because I actually think I do like the newest word in my vocabulary then because I thought he still felt that way. He apologized again, not that he had to, because I knew that as soon as he had said it, he didn’t really mean it.
And in the morning we touched. Even though he backed away when I squeezed his nipple while he was making breakfast…did I mention he always makes breakfast, which, just in case you’re trying to impress your flova, is a very good thing…but the truth is he’s not trying to impress me, he’s just hungry…okay, back to overtouching.. - But he said that was because it’s not easy to make eggs while you are getting your nipple poked and prodded. I can agree with that, but now I think the phrase “overtouching” has made me even more touchy feely.
I don’t remember being overtouched as a child. My parents are much more affectionate now than I remember them being as we grew up. Maybe I’m wrong on that, I mean my mother does think I have a warped memory of my childhood, but the only person I remember being consistently affectionate was my Aunt A. Accept for the time at the Tracy Chapman concert when she didn’t want me to touch her for “fear” that an aunt and neice might be perceived as a lesbian couple, she was always hugging and loving me. She made me want to touch..and now I can’t stop.
It might be a problem…this overtouching…although I only do it to the people I really, really like. Okay, wait, that might not be true, I’ll have to think on that one for a while..
Still, is it better to overtouch, or never to be touched at all?
We all crave skin hunger. How often should we satisfy our cravings?