Hope it’s happy.

 photo credit: Stacie Joy

Now on to other things.

France gets something puritanical society’s don’t quite understand. There “you have  images in the Métro of a woman paying for sex who could be the middle-aged woman next door, and a single pregnant Muslim justice minister and no one seems to care.” Of course it’s also the country with a President who’s married to a sex symbol. The NYT reports (in their fashion section? Is it because sex is fashionable?) on France. Sex. Problem? and now I know where sexual uprising is quietly, but beautifully, happening.

You might not know Jack Venice (NSFW), aka Chris Reid, by name or by face. You might not even know him by penis shape or his tattoo of bullets wrapped around his left leg. It doesn’t matter if you know him at all, or how, but here’s what’s going on with Jack these days. Jack Venice, Iraqi war veteran and adult performer, was convicted of second-degree rape and first-degree burglary for breaking into a sorority house somewhere between Sept. 12 and 13th, 2007. He broke into the Kappa Alpha Theta sorority house to “look for women” according to the douchey friend who was with him but is now testifying against him. The girl said she was sexually assaulted in her sleep. He turned himself in. He got let out on $200,000 bail.

He pleaded not guilty.

He lost this past weekend. However, for the past year, from the time he was accused til the time he was convicted, he has been working as a performer in the adult industry. To me, that’s like having a guy accused of embezzling money go back to work as an accountant. Or a man accused of stabbing someone with a knife, letting them continue working at a knife shop. I guess it’s one thing if you only work on your taxes and can’t touch anyone else’s money (of course it still could be bad) or if you work alone at the knife shop and leave all the knives there when you’re done, but in the mainstream sex industry, unless you’re doing a masturbation scene, you have to work with another person, another woman, which means your feeding the beast that leads to the type of desire that may have caused “you” to go out of control another time, at another place. In porn, girls always seem willing. In real life, they aren’t. If you can’t decipher when it’s okay to have sex and when it’s now (and not getting some is not an excuse to go get some), who’s to say he’s responsible enough to be in an industry where you must be responsible? It’s part of the job.

I don’t mean to say people can’t reform, can’t see the light, they can. But until they prove that it wasn’t them, or they’ve done some serious repenting, I don’t think it’s all that possible. And then you put them in front of their biggest temptation. The thing they would take from someone without even asking? Do you represent them because you believe they’re innocent? Or do you do it because you feel that if he’s getting it elsewhere he won’t rape again? What can the logic really be? I have so many questions. Shouldn’t Jack be working somewhere else, fixing cars and getting his aggression out with a scissorlift and a screwdriver?

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Because it’s that time of the year when everyone is shouting for you to “Get out and vote!” it helps some of us when there is even more added incentive to do it.

So, here it is. Babeland is offering a worthwhile bonus if you get out and vote for Obama. Actually, I don’t think it matters who you vote for to get the bonus, but I think it should. All four terrestrial Babeland stores are giving away a free Maverick masturbation sleeve for men who vote and a Silver Bullet for the ladies of the VB (Voting Booth). It’s pretty cut and dry. All you need to do is “bring your voter registration card, ballot stub or your word of honor that you cast a ballot on November 4th and we’ll give you either a free Maverick sleeve or a Silver Bullet. This offer is good at any location in New York or Seattle November 4-11.”

I gave my boyfriend a maverick for Christmas last year, because masturbation sleeves are fun. Not only does it provide ample amounts of tightness, it’s also warm and with a little lube on the inside, it feels pretty weird…and wet..in a good way. It’s fun to wiggle the sleeve around a little (just make sure there’s enough lube(s) on his pubes) or watch him work it over his own willy. And you can also use the Maverick inside of a vagina, but that felt a little weird to us. I think every guy should try a sleeve once, and a warm banana peel once too. Don’t get me wrong, the bullets cool, but the Maverick, that’s a pretty special gift. If I were a guy, and I lived in Seattle or New York, I’d head straight to the voting booth to vote use my big head, and then over to Babeland to play with my little one.*

*play means play at home. In fact, when you receive your new Maverick, and first try it out in a nice private, safe space, like your bedroom, I hope you’ll do us all the honor of screaming “Oh! Maverick! Do it to me!” at least three times before you finish up.

A snippet of sex talk from around the block.

• The many faces of Sarah. The “Republicans-want-to-prove-that-America-can-be-run-by-idiots” vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin says “watcha’ talkin’ about Willis?” when it comes to her views on comprehensive sexuality education. Alternet gives us the lowdown on Sarah Palin and Sex Ed.
• How many guys can say they can both grow a beard and still menstruate? Listen to Morty Diamond and Glenn Marla talk honestly about being short, fat and comfortable in their tranny bodies. Watch Tranny Triptych (via youtube) for an insightful discussion on bending gender.
• The Observer’s annual sex poll survey’s the British on monogamy, sex toys and penis size. Want to know where you measure up?
• AskMen.com’s article on Porn Moves You Should Never Use in Real Life reminds us that ATM’s should only be used for withdrawing or depositing cash, and that the piledriver is more of a wrestling move than a sexual position.
• Looking for a way to get off and throw your support behind any couple who wants to tie the knot in the state of California? But you don’t live in the state of California, so you can’t vote no on Prop 8? Comstock films, purveyors of erotic movies that feature real couples doing it for real, wants to help you help CA out. Tomorrow only,  buy any Comstock Films DVD and 100% of the purchase price will go to help stop Prop 8 in California.
• While there’s lots of talk about sex addiction these days, how about email addiction? In our world where everyone has to be available every minute of every second of every hour of every day, a new survey finds that 11% of people send e-mail messages/texts while engaged in sexy times with themselves or others.

With news that Mayor Bloomberg will be allowed to seek a third term (all hail Caesar!) let’s take a moment to look at other things that come in threes.

1. Threesomes. This had to be first for obvious reasons (the obvious reason being that it was an obvious choice) when it comes to talking about threes. While three can be a magic number, especially if you can free - which rhymes with three - your mind while you watch your girlfriend make that orgasm face while another friend wiggles his or her tongue in her special places, it can also be a crowd. Just ask John Ritter - wait, since you can’t ask him anymore, why not ask Joyce DeWitt - she had the best name of the bunch anyway. If you are going to engage in threeway sex anytime soon, just remember to play fairly. Hopefully Bloomberg will remember that too.

2. Three holes. Women have three holes that are penetrated during sex acts. The vagina, the ass and the mouth. That’s one more hole than dudes have, although some guys might like light play in the urethral opening. Before you dip your tongue in anyone’s U-spot, be very careful and very clean. Perhaps before the next election a reporter can ask Mayor Bloomberg if he likes it in his pee-hole?

3. And since this is about three’s, number three is a pat on the back to me - which is sort of the same as Bloomberg saying “me! me! pick me! I want to run for a third term!” Three movies. That’s what I’ve directed for Adam and Eve. It’s the number of movies in my Personal Touch Videos Series.  Thanks to these movies, I’ve received not one, not two, but three nods in the past week from HotMoviesforHer, XCritic, and Fleshbot (what a great birthday present by the way).

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that I wouldn’t vote for Bloomberg for four more years. He is a very successful businessman and we are in a time when tons of bad business decisions have put us in an itchy, uncomfortable place. But still, too much power given to too few people can cause big, bad things to happen too. However, this isn’t about “too” it’s about three, so I’m done. For now…

Today’s my birthday, so I figured I was allowed to say whatever I wanted to get your attention.

It’s strange to think about surviving another year. To mark it with a time stamp. As I “mature,” I realize more and more that we live in a world that seems to need to know how old everything and everyone is. But why does age matter? Outside of the obvious “experience” answer, and the one about being legal to drink, vote, drive, have sex or go to war (which brings me to the question - why can an 18 year old fight for our country but not drink in it?) who cares if I’m 27, 29, 32, 34, 45 or 69? Will you love me any more, or less, if I’m older or younger, and if you love me at all to begin with?

As you ponder these questions..here is, as promised, the picture of my sleeping pussy:

This is really how he sleeps with us in the winter. Isn’t it amazingly cute?

Okay. Now I’m done being one of those sick cat people.

Porn Star Lisa Ann as Sarah Palin via Splashnews

Since everybody calls it a round up, why not call it a square down? It’s not all the news that’s fit to print, not even some of all the news that’s fit to print, but it’s a tiny sliver of both sex news and sexy films. And, for those of us watching our weight before the holidays, we know that a sliver is better than a slice.

• Columbia University started their own erotic review. You’ve probably heard of the g-spot, and possibly even the a-spot, but now it’s time for the c-spot. The first issue pays homage to red fingernails and strip clubs, while trying to work on the guy angle of sex writing by posting one anonymous dudes thoughts on the problems with talking openly about your sex life if you’re a guy.
• Jenna Jameson proves she’s both preggers and pretty. Looks like she’s spending way less on plastic surgery now that she’s got twin babies on the way - via celebitchy.
• I made Xcritic’s list of Top 10 female adult directors. Although there are lots of other female directors doing really great things in the adult industry that deserve to be on this list - like Madison Young, Joanna Angel, Jane Hamilton and Nina Hartley - it is an honor to be recognized for my smallish body of work. That body of work will be expanding in 2009, this I promise.
• Adam & Eve/Zero Tolerance released Roller Dollz earlier this month. This porno flick features sex on skates. Sunny Lane, one of my favorite females in the industry, is the lead skater and girl can skate. Plus, in real life she’s also smart, funny and loves what she’s doing for a living. I haven’t seen the film yet, but popporn loved it. Watch the review here.
• Pirates 2 is also out from Digital Playground. It’s big budget and a big deal in this industry. Guaranteed both of these will be up for way too many awards at this year’s AVN Show.
• Is this recession good for sex shops? According to Bonnie Fuller, guest blogger for the Moment (for the NY Times), the answer is Yes! Yes! Yes! Retail sales may be dropping at places like Saks and Bergdoffs by 10.9 percent and 15.8 percent respectively, but at Babeland sales are up by more than 10 percent from same time last year. In times of crisis, it makes sense that we all choose to let off steam by getting off. It is a screw or get screwed world we live in. Wouldn’t you agree?
• Want a sneak peak at the Sarah Palin porn Hustler’s putting out? Here are pictures from the set of Who’s Nailin Palin? This very same Lisa Ann, the one who plays Sarah Palin, stared in Under the Covers (the last film that I worked on with Candida Royalle).

 The petite and powerful We-vibe. Yes, it’s really that small.

Although I can’t find the charger for my We-Vibe, it was, and hopefully will be, a favored toy in my home. Here’s my Xbiz review of this little purple pleasure:

There is no “I” in We-Vibe and that’s just the way it should be. That’s because this is the first, in my opinion, highly thought-out, and executed couples vibrator, that is NOT a cock ring. A seriously cool design and an awesome stow-away case (it looks like a sunglass case), the We-Vibe doesn’t look cheap, embarrassing or otherwise inappropriate.

And it works well too.

It’s purple, why is that like the most popular color for sex toys these days?, and designed to be stay inside her vagina, and on her clit, during sexual intercourse with a penis or dildo. The vibration is felt on both ends of the toy, which provides extra “tingle-ation” to the clit, the G-spot and a penis. As long as both your partner’s dick and the toy can fit inside your vaginal opening together (a problem for some couples), it can help her achieve orgasms, or more intense orgasms, during sexual intercourse. You’ll have to work on the positions that feel most comfortable, but you can definitely use the We-Vibe in multiple ways. Plus, it fills the vagina more, which adds a little extra girth to the less thick members of society, and it’s rechargeable. It’s not easy to find the on-off switch at first (it’s only one speed), so read the instructions, and I had to use my hand to hold the toy to my clit to get the best buzz, which, in reality, isn’t  a problem.

One other thing, the silicone coating can hurt those of you out there who still have their pubes, so use some lube on the toy (and your pubic hair) before you begin. And it’s expensive, but if you’ve got the money and the partner, it’s definitely one of the more interesting toys you can try.

Buy it at Babeland

A silly group shot from the Sex Bloggers Calendar photo shoot.

Photo Credit Stacie Joy

Can you tell who I am (hint: check out my wristband/headband).

Have you bought your 2009 calendar yet? If not, how will you know about all the sex-happy things going on next year? If you want to purchase your calendar in person, you can join the calendar girls at our party to celebrate its release. So save the date. Friday November 14th from 6:30-9:30 @ White Rabbit in NYC (145 E. Houston, between Forsyth and Eldridge).

If you don’t see me there, just look for Wonder Woman. She’ll know where I’m at.

I like Yvonne Fulbright. I think she’s sweet. I understand that she writes for Fox News, and that there may be certain instructions, or perhaps some call them expectations, about how to think once you’re reprogrammed employed there, so that may explain why she quickly, and at the end of her story on when to have sex, and how-not-to-really-do-it-on-the-first-date, offers up this sage advice:

Some people can pull off sex on the first date. I know couples who have gone on to fall madly in love with each other for the long-term.

However the rest of her answer heeds caution of giving up the milk too soon and for too little, especially if you want the person to love you long time.

But most aren’t so lucky, which is why every person — and every potential or committed couple — needs to take the time to contemplate when to go all the way. For some people, such “sexpectations” involve anywhere from four to nine weeks of dating. For others, it may take months or even a couple of years. In the meantime, most expect plenty of kissing — at least just for the first date.

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