Saturday, October 25 2008
With news that Mayor Bloomberg will be allowed to seek a third term (all hail Caesar!) let’s take a moment to look at other things that come in threes.
1. Threesomes. This had to be first for obvious reasons (the obvious reason being that it was an obvious choice) when it comes to talking about threes. While three can be a magic number, especially if you can free - which rhymes with three - your mind while you watch your girlfriend make that orgasm face while another friend wiggles his or her tongue in her special places, it can also be a crowd. Just ask John Ritter - wait, since you can’t ask him anymore, why not ask Joyce DeWitt - she had the best name of the bunch anyway. If you are going to engage in threeway sex anytime soon, just remember to play fairly. Hopefully Bloomberg will remember that too.
2. Three holes. Women have three holes that are penetrated during sex acts. The vagina, the ass and the mouth. That’s one more hole than dudes have, although some guys might like light play in the urethral opening. Before you dip your tongue in anyone’s U-spot, be very careful and very clean. Perhaps before the next election a reporter can ask Mayor Bloomberg if he likes it in his pee-hole?
3. And since this is about three’s, number three is a pat on the back to me - which is sort of the same as Bloomberg saying “me! me! pick me! I want to run for a third term!” Three movies. That’s what I’ve directed for Adam and Eve. It’s the number of movies in my Personal Touch Videos Series. Thanks to these movies, I’ve received not one, not two, but three nods in the past week from HotMoviesforHer, XCritic, and Fleshbot (what a great birthday present by the way).
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that I wouldn’t vote for Bloomberg for four more years. He is a very successful businessman and we are in a time when tons of bad business decisions have put us in an itchy, uncomfortable place. But still, too much power given to too few people can cause big, bad things to happen too. However, this isn’t about “too” it’s about three, so I’m done. For now…
Tell Me You Love Me