For some vendors who attended the ANE show, aka Adult Novelty Expo, this past Monday and Tuesday in surprisingly sunny, not smoggy, Los Angeles, the above pic about sums it up. Small crowds walked the Sheraton and Hilton hotels in Universal City, which isn’t really even a city but more of an extension of a theme park, but no matter what they say, I still had a blast. Lots of pills promoting larger erections and a new toy that promises to take the job out of blowjobs (but instead makes it feel like more work and like you’re getting an impression made at the dentist), were some of the losers, but here are some of the winners:

First, we got the party started at Regina Lynn’s house before the party ever started. I bounced in a moonbounce, or whatever you call that thing that the nerd and the cheerleader had sex in in Revenge of the Nerds. Regina had a bunch of sex toy party people over at her place for a pre-ANE bash, and she brought in the bouncy toy, and it rocked. My only regret, not wearing underwear under my skirt and bouncing, but no one else seemed to mind.

Then next day, at at the Aneros booth, I learned the proper way to use the Aneros toys for any guy (no rocking, just insert the toy up your bum and let it massage your prostate - and squeeze and release your muscles too) and I also learned that the ladies like the Prograsm for both up the ass and G-spot stimulation. And of course there’s also the brand-spanking new unisex anal PC muscle exerciser, the peredise - which everyone wanted a piece of.

Over at Ohmibod I received a sample of their love buckle* - a really nice leather belt with a buckle that holds a condom for any planned, or unplanned, roll in the hay. And I got to test out the prototype for their next, top secret toy and I have to say Ohmigod! I literally got off to, and with, but not as in the flesh and blood version of with, Kanye West. Ironically, five minutes after I had my second orgasm, the hotel room door opened and some staff guy entered, thinking he was entering a room ten doors down. I was done with my business, but had he arrived five minutes earlier, he would have seen and heard a lot more. Watch for the new toy, sometime this winter.

The Njoy Eleven comes in the coolest black leather satchel, so that a size queen can carry his or her toy around in style. I snagged the satchel, since I already have the toy, and it’s so nice I’ll be using it as an evening bag all summer long.

If you need a place to hide your toys, Toibocks makes a high quality jewelry box that locks, really locks, and is great for storing 4 toys, or 20 DVD’s - or anything else, legal or barely legal, that you may need to hide from your snooping family.

Kudos to Sportsheets not only for making interesting sexual devices, but for making them in the USA. That’s a rarity in the toy market. I really want to try some of their “positionary aids” and this pillow that rolls up so you can sit on it, and attach this velcro vibrating hump to help you got off.

And if I only get one new toy this year, please let it be Ruff Doggie Style’s Bouquet of Roses crop or flogger or the mint-green Kitty Paddle. Their website doesn’t do justice to how gaw-gous their kinky toys are.

So much more to say but I’ve got to get over to Sex Health Guru’s studio for a taping, so I’ll leave you with this. So much of our sex education comes from the adult industry, and this week I met two really great sex educators, who also happen to be porn stars. There were lots of porn stars milling about the show (unlike Ron Jeremy who really did sleep a lot) and I totally connected with Sean Michaels and Sunny Lane - two smart, sex-positive and dedicated stars (and sex educators) who I’ll definitely be working with in the future.

Ah..the future…of sex toys, of sex education, of sex.. It’s not only at ANE, but it’s one place where it’s at.

*love buckle name subject to change