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Tuesday, August 19 2008

Michael Phelps has grown into sexy

I can’t say I’ve actually watched much of what my grandmother refers to as “that Chinese TV show” but I listen to NPR and read news, and even I know that Michael Phelps is the hottest swimmer to emerge since Poseidon.

So I decided to look at some pictures to go along with My Sex Professor’s posts on Michael Phelps penis size, and even MORE on Michael Phelps penis size, and (you should read them for an in depth look at what’s going on with Michael Phelps penis) because that’s where it was first brought to my attention that a good number of people were interested in trying to decipher the hidden code underneath MP’s speedos (whether it be airbrushed or not). However, if you want to know if you should be allowed to know his penis size, Wiki’s got the answer to this question:

Would celebrities want their breast or penis size to be public information?

Yeah Michael Phelps is totally sexy, and I can see why one would lust after him for whatever. His penis, his power, his $$$, his breast stroke, his intelligence or his sense of humor.

And he looked like so dorky when he was growing into his totally smoking hot body. Which just goes to show you, it’s the dorky guys who become the hotties. When I went back to a high school reunion, most of the hottest guys were more like lukewarm. However, the ones I didn’t notice in school (although I should have because I myself wasn’t very noticeable), the ones who sat in the back of the room and played Dungeons & Dragons in their free time, those are the guys that really grew into their skin.

For some reason geeks often grow up to be the sexiest of the lot. I guess that’s all I’m saying. And that’s what Michael Phelps is really. American Dream and Swimming Dork.

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Thursday, August 14 2008

Say it. And Spray it.

Picture borrowed from this story.

Once again making no news at all - its the spray on condom.

Inquiring minds want to know..would you use a spray on condom if you could? Time.com reports that spray on condoms are still a hard sell. But 30 year-old Jan Vinzenz Krause isn’t giving up hope. He’s working in some deep, dark secret laboratory (or that’s what I’d like to believe) in the middle of Germany plotting the way to make the perfect condom for any size prick. While there doesn’t seem to be any reason to believe that it will happen tomorrow - the condom still takes too long to dry - he’s working hard, or maybe wanking hard..who knows?

The condom, which is a combination of liquid latex and other stuff you’d find in a hardware store, sounds like the hottest fetish item since the sucky bed. Unfortunately, it won’t be available until a faster-drying latex is born, so Krause is working on solving the condom conundrum another way - by making more condoms in more sizes. He’ll sell them online so that less-endowed men, the ones who should be buying small, even when thinking big, might actually buy a condom that fits.

I think the spray on condom would be cool to use on things like your fingers, or fist.

Read the full Time.com story here.

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Wednesday, August 13 2008

Shallow Diving

My dear friend Audacia Ray has offered me “one hot minute” on her newly formatted Live Girl Review Show.

Her first new show went live today, and she’s got lots of great (and honest) reviews in there, and she’s super smart and sexy.

Around 4 minutes in I make my first appearance. I talk about why staying close to the edge of the vagina can feel better to some women during intercourse than those deep, long thrusts. It’s because the first 1/3 of the vagina is the most sensitive, so it’s where we feel the most stimulation. Not that deep thrusting isn’t hot, it can be, and it can also be painful at times, especially if you’re really long and keep sticking our cervix and we aren’t into cervical sticking, but if she’s trying to have an orgasm while something is inside her vagina, then think about how you move your dildo or dick. What I’m trying to say is - don’t immediately dive in to the deep end of the pool. Sometimes playing in the shallow end allows for a bigger splash.

Watch the video:

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Monday, August 11 2008

To Spank or Be Spanked

Cover of Spanked. The book that sparked a thousand thoughts.

Last night J. and I shared a few choice words. The kind of words that suck when they’re the last words you say to your lover before bed. The kind of words that solidified my decision to go to sleep without the exchange of any other kinder, gentler words. No “good night, sleep tight.” And forget “I love you.” I was pissed, and not in the English sense of the word.

Alas, today’s another day. Besides the fact that we talked this morning (communication is good!) I’ve also given some thought to his much needed punishment, some thought to how I may let him know he was a bad boy, but also let him know how good he usually makes me feel. Punishment is not my favorite activity mind you, especially since I received heaping portions of it as a child, but people think I should be good at delivering ample “sexual” punishment when necessary. People who know me think that when it comes to my sex life I’m a natural dominant/top, and they say this because of my seeming heaps-o-confidence and jiccy-ness (JIC stands for Jamye’s in Charge). And while perception is one thing, truth be told, I’m more apt to let someone else get the best of me when I’m naked and horny. But not after reading Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica, edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel and published by Cleis Press. Nope. After reading over half the stories from the hottest book on spanking ever, I am so ready to be the one doing the spanking.

While I’m thinking ass spanks for J., the book is not just about the ass. It covers spanking anywhere, and everywhere, one could imagine delivering a spanking (of course places like the kidneys and spine are off-limits, and you should read up on how to spank before you decide where to spank). And while it’s totally turn-on-able writing, I’m also happy that it’s got little bits of instructional advice dangling within the text. Like if you’ve never spanked before, take Elizabeth Coldwell’s advice in “Through A Glass, Sharply”:

…my gentle caresses have become firm taps. Not enough to make Elliot flinch, but enough to begin the process of warming up his bottom, ready for the harder blows to come.

Or L. Elise Bland’s description of her favorite spanking utensils, from the short story “The Breeding Barn.”

…some of the most exciting toys are those I find in the everyday kitchen - wooden spoons, spatulas, Japanese rice cake molds, pizza servers, breadboards and ice-cold marble rolling pins to cool off a pair of hot buns after a good waling. Still, the hardiest paddle of all is the human hand. You never leave home without it, and it never raises eyebrows in public.

Good advice, and there’s heaps more of it, as well as totally well-written erotica in Spanked (not to mention some fun-tastic cover art). Personally, I found myself more turned on when the woman was in the role of the spanker, and not the spankee. Maybe it’s because it’s where I now fantasize going with J. Because some time this week I’m going to force him to take his place over my knee and give him the punishment I didn’t know he deserved until I plunged deeper into Spanked. That being said, “Laser Tag” by Madeline Glass, and “Pink Cheeks” by Fiona Locke (both stories with a male spanker) got me hot, and it wasn’t because I was reading them while doing cardio at the gym. Seriously I’m hard-pressed to find a story that smacks of boredom in this book.

I didn’t know it was possible to write so much hotness about spanking. But now I do. And I also know where my hand will be going sometime later this week. J. I hope your ass is ready.

For more on spanking:

Check out Spanked: The Blog
Tomorrow Babeland’s blog will continue the Spanked virtual book tour/review

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Thursday, August 7 2008

What men think

Of course not all men think this way, but I just read What Men Notice When They First Meet You (ivillage.com) and I think a lot of men think like this. I wanted to hate disagree with this article, but I couldn’t. I wanted to hate dislike him, but, well, verdict is still out on that one.

It is important to feel good about yourself, and feel you’re bringing your own version of sexy back. That being said, I think lots of “dudes” have certain set standards when it comes to the structure of sexual attraction. So, if you want to know what the other “team” (or your “team”) thinks, read the article. It’s worth a look.

The author promotes himself as a rock star of sex advice. Here’s his website.

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Wednesday, August 6 2008

Sex Toy Review: electrosex kit

Electrosex was never really my thang, but then I got my paws on my first “beginner’s” kit a few months back for a review in Xbiz magazine and I had to try it (I had felt a Violet Wand run up and down my arm once before but that’s all) . Naked City did their review of the toy, and that inspired me to share mine.

From Tools of the Trade:

I used to be afraid of that Operation game, because it felt to me like walking on carpet in the dead of winter and then touching a metal doorknob. You never knew if you were going to get shocked. Shocks aren’t my thing, never have been, and honestly, never will be. Not that the beginner’s e-Stim Kit (Zeus Toys) hasn’t changed how I feel about electrical sex.

I feel it. Oh yeah, I feel it.

Read more »

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Tuesday, August 5 2008

Playgirl: Naked No More

It’s already been reported at Gawker, Xbiz, Media Bistro and Dlisted and it’s all true, Playgirl Magazine, at least the print version, is being laid down to rest as of January 2009 (the last issue is Jan/Feb 2009). I know, because I’ve been writing my sex advice column for them (it’s called Sex.ed) since January of 2002, and last month I submitted a column (knowing Playgirl was coming to it’s end, but not knowing exactly when) when my editor emailed me upon receipt of said column with the words, “This is your last one!!”

I’m not happy that Playgirl is folding. Not because I’m losing a job, I mean it sucks to go from writing a regular advice column to not writing it, but more because I think that Playgirl, had it listened to some much needed advice since I’ve been part of their pages, could have been something beautiful. There is so much potential for a magazine that appeals to women (and men who like looking at men, and reading about women), but for some reason, in the United States we can’t seem to execute the formula of naked men + intelligent sexual conversation + interesting topics that appeal to women = happy magazine.

It’s like going to a strip club. Going to see a male strip club (which doesn’t really exist except for “special nights”) is always way different than going to a “regular” strip club. When it’s a male club, it’s generally more of a male revue, and one must sit through a show that allows a few semi-clad men, wearing pants that generally rip off, to prance around on a stage surrounded by screaming, drunk women who are grabbing for penis and other body parts. When you go to a club where the dancers are female, nobody is screaming, or even grabbing or touching. The customers are sitting casually, at tables, drinking important drinks and talking, whether it be amongst themselves, with a few dancers, or on their cell phone (although the music is often to loud for the latter). It never feels like a show, rather it feels like a club, one that usually serves some type of dinner and drinks, and one that happens to have semi-clad dancers that perform both on stage and in your laps (You can’t serve alcohol and be all nude in NY last time I checked).

Read more »

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Monday, August 4 2008

Things to do

image via sexuality.about.com and Come As You Are

If you’re looking to pass some time, but not necessarily some gas (although I’m not there to smell it), here are some clickable ways to do it.

Read: The NY Times published a fantastic op-ed piece by Jennifer Finley Boylan yesterday. Her op-ed, The XY Games, should be required reading for everyone. It’s well-written and helps make it easy to understand just how difficult it is to nail down gender…both in perception and reality. Nobody’s “perfect,” (although in healing modalities I’ve been told we’re all perfect, but that’s not the type of perfect I mean..although is there more than one type of perfect? Or is perfect just perfect?) and the human body, in all it’s forms, is amazing, beautiful and unique.

Listen: To an interview with me - done by my former classmate, and colleague, Tiffanie Davis. Here’s the link.

Try: Right-Angle Sex Positions courtesy of Cory Silverberg @ about.com

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Wednesday, July 30 2008

Njoy’s Eleven: A Toy Review

I learned via Naked City, that the Njoy Eleven is finally for sale. I thought you could buy it for a while, since I reviewed it for Xbiz* a few months back but I guess you couldn’t. Regardless, now you can. So I figured I’d give you my review:

Njoy Toys motto should be “Satisfaction Guaranteed.” Like Kathy Bates in Misery, I am a number one fan, and Njoy Toys has yet to disappoint me. Seriously, I’ve been touting the pleasures of the Pure Wand for as long as I’ve owned mine. Not only do I have great orgasms with the thing, but it makes me squirt almost every time. Now I can add a new notch to my belt, and a new toy to my box, because Njoy’s Eleven is another home run. It’s the hugest thing I’ve ever put inside of my pussy and I loved every big, fat inch of it (all eleven of them to be exact). Not only did I have a fantastic orgasm, but once again I came, I saw, I squirted.

It’s heavy, very heavy, as in 2 ¾ pounds of sexy stainless steel. Which means it’s not only a great sex toy, but it’s also a great workout. The diameter of the smaller end, 1 ¾ “ isn’t very small, and the ridges are a nice added touch. The large 2” end is so big that I seriously couldn’t fit it in my mouth (yes, I tried), and, trust me, I have a large oral cavity. I’m proud that I could take it all inside of me, even if I had to start slow (and with the smaller end) and use lots and lots of lube. This is not a toy for people afraid of size, no way, in fact it’s now sitting out on my dresser so I can bring to friends about how much I can handle. This toy laughs at little toys. It may even chew them up and eat them for dinner. But that’s okay. I’d understand. Because the Eleven is a serious toy for serious sex. It’s definitely the new king of my toy box. And yes, one could take it up the ass, but honestly, I’m not there yet.

*In case you were wondering - I review sex toys for Xbiz on a monthly basis. My “column” is called Tools of the Trade.

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Tuesday, July 29 2008

The G-spot: Fact or Friction

image via Bandita 

Last week the LA Times ran this story on the existence of the G-spot (also called the Sacred Spot in Tantric and Taoist practices). Comparing it to the Loch Ness Monster or the Abominable Snowman, the Times reporter wrote that it’s easier to talk about finding the G-spot than to actually find it, and while she’s not sure of its existence, I think that’s missing the point, or rather the spot.

The G-spot exists for women - most women - whether or not it works for them. Let’s think of it like ice cream. Some of us like chocolate, others prefer vanilla and still some of us can’t eat any of it because we’re lactose intolerant. Whatever type of ice cream you like, it’s not like you need ice cream to live, but it tastes good to eat. That’s what a G-spot massage is like. Not necessary, but an indulgence - one that some of us choose to discover, and others of us don’t. We’re all pretty similar in our biological makeup, but not identical. Some of us get off from penetration, some of us don’t, just like some women get off when something hard, soft, big or little is placed inside her vagina, and again, some of us don’t. In fact, less women get off from penetration than from direct clitoral stimulation, but still when society and the media think of the “ultimate orgasm” we often think that it means something should be inside of us.

The G-spot isn’t necessarily a spot, it’s more of a cluster and you feel it through the top wall of the vagina (it’s the urethral sponge, which is in the urethra, but you don’t want to go in the urethra to find it, or anything, for that matter). Stimulating that can, yes, lead to the sensation of having to “make water” (as Ms. Daisy would say) but it’s also one of the places in the vagina that is highly sensitive for some women, however, all women should be highly aroused before you even think about touching the spot. The article quotes research on a group of cadavers (and then yes, on live bodies) but you can’t do research on the G-spot of a cadaver and get the same results as you would if you looked at the real, live arousal of a healthy, horny and rearing-to-go gal.

When women, ones that were still alive, were prodded, researchers noticed:

Some women have extra-thick, sensitive, different tissue in the front wall of the vagina, whose stimulation can lead to vaginal orgasms. Other women don’t. (Call it a G spot if you like, he says; until there’s a formal definition, the label is more about marketing than science.)

Yes, the label is all about marketing, but that’s the world we live in. One where we try to label everything…whether it be an animal, vegetable or our own sexual hot buttons. So, what’s the point of all this? It’s a reminder to each G-spot owner, and G-spot stimulator, that there are plenty of places to press inside, and outside, her body to turn her on. That for those of us who don’t get off on G-spot stimulation, but not necessarily because we don’t have one, even if it’s not as thick as some others, there are still fun places to poke around. Sure, the G-spot may or may not do it for the lady in your life (or for you in your life as a lady) but whether it’s her hot button or not, sexual experimentation is fun. And if searching for the G-spot leads you to play around more, than keep searching and you shall find something…or other..to play with.

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