Wednesday, February 23 2005
My fingers are all dry. Especially around the cuticles. I have OCD, or ADD, or whatever they diagnose kids with these days, and even though I’ve never been diagnosed by anyone outside of my siblings, who both happen to be in medical professions, I know this is true. As I sit and stare at my fingers, trying hard not to pick off all the dead cells, I see living proof of my “habit”.
I can’t stop picking. It’s as if the skin just peels off from around the areas of dryness. I’ve been doing this for years, and for years I’ve been telling myself I shouldn’t be doing this at all. I can’t help it. When I’m bored, when I’m nervous, when I should be doing other things, I pick my skin. I know that eventually, if it hasn’t already altered my long term skin growth, this habit will destroy me.
My sister has a fucked up thumbnail. Like alien-esque, messed up. She’d probably be pissed at this description, but it’s true, her thumbnail is a phenomena to me. It’s all warped. I think it’s from the picking and even though I don’t want a thumbnail like that, I still can’t stop my habit.
A couple of my fingers are aching now. Aching - because in the time I’ve been typing this update, I’ve also been taking the time to pick my skin.
It’s as if I’m addicted. Maybe I just need some lotion. In fact, lotion would be the best place to start to nip this addiction in the bud.
Lubrication. One of the most important elements of life, and sex, and good finger maintenance.
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