Jew on Jew dating

I’m taking the title from my friend Lux over at Boinkology, where she posted a video of herself talking about the exact same thing. It got me thinking a lot. I mean I am a Jew, but do I date other Jews? I dated a Jew for nine years once, yes, in a row, but since then let’s just say my batting average when it comes to dating, or even just sleeping with Jewish men, is almost at zero.

It’s not that I don’t like Jews, I’m not one of the self-hating types, it’s just, well, for starters, I find that Jewish men remind me a lot of the kinds of boys I grew up with (I do come from a part of Long Island that has a large number of Jews) and that doesn’t necessarily remind me of happy times. I think of Jewish men, although not all Jewish men, because men like my friend Harry don’t fall into this category, as mommy’s boys, and honestly I don’t want to have to replace their mommy or feel a sense of competition for their affection.

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What celebrities do to feel sexy

While I’m pretty obsessed with dlisted, I don’t normally visit Perez Hilton, but today I found myself there reading about how Julianne Moore basically starves herself to be “the right size” for Hollywood. No surprise that, as I sit here munching away on chocolate covered pretzels, that this makes me mad and sad. I want to stomp my feet and say when are we going to change our standards of beauty, and why does skinny almost always equal sexy? Anyone who has seen a woman like this woman (April Flores, aka Fatty D) knows that sexy and beautiful come in way more than just a size zero or two.

So when are we going to start answering back? As consumers, when are we going to start demanding more and not less, of our actors and other “personifications of beauty.” The fact that a forty-something mother of two thinks she has to survive on granola bars and yogurt to stay relevant in the entertainment industry makes me not want to watch another movie ever again.

Gen X = Slacker Sex

I’m slacking in the timeliness of my updates with this one, but apparently I’m not slacking as much as Generation X is when it comes to the sex we have. For those in Generation Y, or Generation W (although they are never called that, but it makes sense if they come before X, right?) you are apparently much more sexually experimental than those of us whose birthday’s fall somewhere between 1965 and 1985.

From the article:

According to academic research on sexual habits, Generation X’ers have significantly fewer sexual partners and are less likely to be unfaithful than those who came before and after them.

Interestingly, and not all that surprisingly, the circles I run in don’t follow this study. In fact, if the researchers would tag along with me to the desert the last week in August, or even to a few parties here in New York City, they would definitely not conclude the same results. But I know that research is research and that if you interview lots of people in middle-of-the-line places, you might find things aren’t as orgy-astic as they are in NY, SF or even Nevada.

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It may be hailing in LA

Or at least that’s what I heard yesterday, but that’s not the biggest thing happening in Los Angeles this weekend. If I were out west right now, I’d be making my way to the Love LA Erotic Expo this Sunday. I’m not just saying this because I love Babeland and Freddy and Eddy, both of whom happen to be involved in this event, I’m saying this because it’s actually where I’d be. It would, for shizzles, be the most happening place to see all the sex toys vendors I love, and it’s totally the opposite of the Adult Entertainment Expo because there looks to be absolutely no porn involved. I laughed when I read this on the Love LA homepage:

Candy rots your teeth and makes you fat. Restaurants are too crowded. Hallmark cards are lame. Flowers die. Why not be original this Valentines Day?

And so it goes. It’s true. All of what they said above is true. Accept I don’t like the fat thing. I wouldn’t have put that in there if I was writing this. I’d just say sugar is bad for you, or something like that. But I didn’t write the copy.

So what is Love LA?

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It keeps going

The R.E.M. piece has been getting some major play. Billboard and the BBC both wrote their own articles around the visit (and the BBC even quoted me, well, quoted my blog entry)! And just for the record, I was joking when I said I would go through Michael Stipe’s bag. I wouldn’t do that. I may be a lot of things, but honestly I’m not that kind of girl. Seriously, I’ve had plenty of opportunities to snoop through people’s drawers, and it’s just not something I do.

And is the NY Press just playing dumb? Apparently Claudia Lonow, their “edgy” new sex advice columnist may not actually be playing. I mean in her first sex advice column she didn’t even bother to make up her own fake questions. Instead she “borrowed them” directly from a 2006 Dan Savage column. You can read all about it here. I don’t want to blame the editor, especially since you never know when you may need work, and maybe he just had no idea that his sex columnist didn’t have a column, but really, that’s low, oh, and lame.

UPDATE: She resigned saying she didn’t know she couldn’t steal someone else’s column.

Reproductive Rights and R.E.M.

Let’s hope there are many more happy anniversaries for Roe V. Wade because today is the 35th anniversary of the landmark decision that gave women in this country the right to choose to have an abortion if they so desired. As part of spreading the word I’ve promised Blog for Choice that I’d write about this important event today (which I would have done anyway, really). So why is choice so important? As if the question itself needs an answer. Obviously, because this choice concerns a woman’s body, and because it is our choice to decide what we want to do with our own bodies. In other words, the government should keep their hands out of my vagina. Unfortunately, for a government super afraid of anything associated with sex, including talking about genitals, this isn’t so easy. But after reading this book review in the NY Times about an abortionist, I’m totally reminded of the reasons why choice is so important [the parentheses are my way of explaining what's going on].

When Wicklund [the author] finally divulged the secret [that she was an abortionist], her grandmother shared one of her own: at 16, her best friend had gotten pregnant, most likely following an act of incest. She’d tried to help her end the pregnancy with a sharp object, and watched her bleed to death.

One of the reasons we need choice. For me, point made.

Now, on a happy note. I had an “only in NY” moment that I need to share. I mean, it’s not every day that you can call up your friends and say “So I was working at Babeland yesterday when Michael Stipe and the rest of R.E.M. stopped by to sing,” but yesterday, that was totally something I could, and did, say. Yes it’s true, R.E.M., the band that seems to have gone bye-bye (or at least stopped releasing new albums) at least a few years ago, is back, and if the single from last night is any indication of the future of their music, let me just say I’m hooked.

You can read more about my experience on the babeland blog. (It will be up first thing tomorrow, but you can also read my recap of AVN, or as it’s properly called, the AEE. Part’s 1 and 2 are posted there now). In a nutshell, R.E.M. came by to perform the single from their new album for their next video. They stopped into a variety of local shops on the L.E.S. (lower east side) and with camera crew in tow, they came, they sang and they conquered, or more accurately, they left. Michael did leave his hat and bag at Babeland and we could have made a killing selling it on ebay, but he noticed before we did, and so we lost our opportunity to dig through his things (just kidding, actually I’m not a digger like that, at all. I have never even searched through my friends drawers when catsitting). Still, they liked us, so they came back after their next serenade to give us an autographed copy of the lyrics to the song. In an even smaller nutshell, R.E.M. sang for us and it was awesome.

My new best friend isn’t going through puberty

I think I found my new best friend. Okay, it wouldn’t actually be like a real, live, human or animal best friend, but since I love, love, love the pjur wand, I’m thinking Wowsers, I’ve got to try this toy too.

My favorite thing about it is the way they’re marketing the Mark One, with it’s “aircraft-quality spun aluminum.” Because you and I both know that when we’re actually thinking about what’s important in a sex toy, we’re not thinking “airplane.” Still, I’ve seen the aircraft bit thrown around before at Elemental Pleasures.

They take it a step further:

We believe that aircraft-grade spun aluminum is the new hot fudge chocolate sundae.

One thing for sure, you can’t eat aircraft-grade spun aluminum, but I do love my hot fudge sundaes with chocolate ice cream, so that comment did make me hungry. Not horny, just hungry. And the only thing that makes me think I may not call it my new best friend once I try it is that it’s not curved. I know that I love the curve for inside my coochie. But it had me at six, deeply satisfying levels of pleasure orbs. So, who am I to judge?

Anyway, this wasn’t what I meant to blog about today. No, I wanted to talk about the fact that 8 year old girls are going through puberty regularly in America. Yes, that’s right 8 year old girls are growing breasts and pubic hair earlier, and the average age for menstruation is 12.5. Although this to me is not alarming, since 12.5 seems about right. It is, after all, around the same time as when I first got my period. I got “Harry with the red hair’ right before my bat-mitzvah, as in one day before I was about to become the traditional Jewish version of a woman. Yes, that’s when I became the biological version of one. And in my purple, custom made bat-mitzvah dress, while dancing to Huey Lewis and playing Coke and Pepsi, I was secretly, or not so secretly, dripping blood between my legs.

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Sporadic Sex News

I’d like to say I give you the sex news daily, or even weekly, but we both know that’s not quite true. Still, every once in a while, it’s good to poke around and see what people are saying about sex in the media.

Oprah talks orgasms.

Actually she talks about “self-cultivation” (aka masturbation) which can lead to orgasms, or at least to a few moments of pleasure. She does it with Dr. Christian Northrup - not have an orgasm, but talk about masturbation. I’m so happy that masturbation, albeit not called that, is being spoken about on the afternoon circuit. And they also talk about pelvic floor muscle exercises, or kegel exercises, which are so important for women to practice - and so good for better orgasms! Too bad, she couldn’t plug my book while she was at it.

Mike Huckabee will burn in hell.

I know he doesn’t believe it himself (the “that he’s going to hell” part) but if Republican Presidential Hopeful Mike Huckabee keeps saying nasty, untrue things about sexuality he totally is. I still can’t believe that he has such a large following of narrow-minded people in this world, but he does. How can you not get how backwards this guy is? I mean a man who links homosexuality to bestiality and abortion to slavery has got more than a few screws loose.

About abortion Huckabee waxed prolific: “That’s again the logic of the Civil War — that slavery could be okay in Georgia but not okay in Massachusetts. Obviously we’d today say, ‘Well, that’s nonsense. Slavery is wrong, period. It can’t be right somewhere and wrong somewhere else.’ Same with abortion.”

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Ramble On: Children, Sex Toys and Reviews

What do you do when your kid finds your condom - before you’ve had your morning coffee? You read Rachel Sarah‘s article on what to do, that’s what. Oh yeah, and you read my advice on what to do too.

Did you ever find your parents condoms? Sex toys? I remember once, when my friend Sara let’s call her Cara, and I were wee-ones, okay, actually we were teenagers - we found a hard, plastic vibrator in her father’s nightstand while we were snooping around his bedroom one afternoon. It was more uncomfortable for us to think about her dad being sexual than it was to think about what he might have been doing with that vibrator. At the time we just assumed it was his then-girlfriend’s toy, but now I’m not so sure. I mean he did always look like he knew something we didn’t know, and at the time what we didn’t know may have been all about the prostate.

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Find Your O Face

My good friends Em & Lo over at Daily Bedpost interviewed me about jilling off - a topic most people know I love lots! The questions were fun and thoughtful and I really enjoyed spewing the dirt on the menage a moi. If you want to read what I had to say, click here.

Also, tonight I’ll be doing a “Celebrate Your Sexy Self!” at Babeland, Rivington. It’s from 7-9PM and it’s FREE!

Celebrate Your Sexy Self
Tuesday, January 15

Ring in the New Year with a party for one. Join Babeland sex educator and author Jamye Waxman for a night of self-love, celebrating the most important person in your life. Stop by for a mini-masturbation workshop that will include some of the best toys for solo satisfaction. Cocktails, chocolate kisses and an erotic self-love story will keep you cozy this winter! Held at Rivington store.

© Copyright Jamye Waxman M.Ed.