I’m on Playboy Radio Tomorrow

Yes, that’s the latest.. It will be 4PM EST and I just have to mention it so that if you get the urge to purge (meaning to talk about your sex life or whatever) then you should do it with me, tomorrow, on air. Here are some more details:

Show can be heard by SIRIUS radio subscribers. Playboy Radio channel 198, between the hours of 11am and 2pm PST. Visit Playboy Radio for more information. Here’s the number to call into the show: 1(877) 205.9796

As for other news, HOLY SH-T there’s lots of other news. What a weekend!!!! I’m still waiting for someone to pinch me. I’m making movies, yes movies, real how to films with lots of hot sex in them, and I’m learning so much. Will definitely write more soon - well, soonish.

From the other coast

Yes, that would mean I’m not in New York anymore. Or Kansas for that matter. I’m out in sunny LA where I arrived last night, greeted by a crescent moon that reminded me of the grin of the Cheshire cat in Alice in Wonderland. And my car was upgraded from economy to way bigger without anyone even saying to me, “hey, we don’t have an economy car but you can upgrade for one million dollars.” I hate when they do that, only this time they didn’t do that, so I didn’t hate them for not doing it. The car is awesome dude. It’s one of those Dick Tracy looking station wagon sort of automobiles. It’s purple too, and I’ve never driven a purple car before. I feel like a superhero driving around in it. The car, along with that smiling moon, has put me in the right head space for the task at hand. And that task (at hand) would have to do with Adam and Eve. And speaking of Adam and Eve, here’s a really nice review of my new movie, Under the Covers done by one of my favorite indescribably eccentric par-tay girls, Ms. Abby Ehmann.

Now, what I really wanted to talk about today was vagina size, but honestly I started this post 12 hours before I’m finishing it, and now all I want to talk about is sleep. So vagina size will have to wait. Maybe until tomorrow, or maybe until after the weekend when I’m done with three days of intense filming.

I will fill you in on the rest after it happens (well, not the vagina size thing, cause nothing is happening there, I mean nothing with my vagina, except that I *heart* kegels). But as for the Adam and Eve thing, I need to see it to believe it, and then once I believe it, I can tell you everything.

Luke Ford love

Does Luke Ford like pussy? Yes, yes, I think he does.

Do you know Luke Ford? Cause I do. And I know a lot of people who have problems with Mr. Ford because of uhm, his “style” of reporting, but I have to say I have always had a strange thing for the guy. Which means I also have a soft spot for anyone else who makes a whole blog dedicated to Mr. Ford. Of course I have my suspicions that Luke Ford’s fan blog is run by none other than - duh, dum - Luke Ford, but alas I can’t be sure.

Anyway, this recent post about me, made me smile, but it’s the pictures that keep me going back. How does he do this, and how can I learn?

If you don’t know anything about Luke Ford here’s a small(made-up) bio. I can’t say for sure that all of this stuff is true, in fact, I haven’t read Luke’s bio in a long time, but I’ve decided to save some time in my own life by not researching what it may be , and tell you what I think I know about the guy.

Red and White

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Finally, it’s snowing in New York. Now, that being said, it’s way too cold and windy and slippery to go anywhere or do anything today, tonight, whenever. I’m happy to be home in my tiny, little apartment with a pussy that has, for some bizarre reason, shown me way more than his usual share of love today. It’s like he knows it Valentines day, only thing is I don’t care. I think this is a useless holiday, but I’m happy for anyone who wants to enjoy it. Love it up. Make out. Have sex. Whatever. Honestly I want love all year round not just on the fourteenth day of the second month of any year in our calendar system.

Still, showing love on Valentines Day I’ve decided to put a list of things together that I love:

1. Lists. Have you noticed recently, I’ve been making a lot of them.

Are women having too much mediocre sex?

Is that what she’s pondering, ya think?

So late notice, but this is what happens when you’re writing a book and heading to LA in one weeks time to shoot your first three adult films when you’re the triple-whammy - which means “host,” “director” and “writer of scripts” yes, scripts these are “how to” films. Yeah, I know, I’m not looking for any sympathy, I’m just hoping this all turns out the way I want it to.

Regardless, life goes one, so yes, short notice, back on track, tomorrow, 10AM - I’ll be live on Greenstone Media’s The Lisa Birnbach show discussing “ways to express yourself and spice up your love life.” Just in time for (gag, choke, hock a big loogie) Valentines Day.

So, if you’ve got your ways…let ‘em rip. You can email me, or better yet call in tomorrow (the show is on from 9AM - Noon, but again I was told 10AM) and tell me what you think..here’s the number - 1.877.443.LISA

Now, can you get your satisfaction?

There’s new book saying that most women cannot. It’s called Satisfaction: Women, Sex and the Quest for Intimacy (Ballentine/Random House) and it’s revealed this shocking finding that, gasp, hold breath, let it out and then hold chest in disbelief, lots of women have mediocre sex lives because women are achieving too much and not staying home enough.

“Almost” Last Minute Valentine’s Gifts (for those who care)

I have to say I totally don’t give a flying seal on roller skates about Valentines Day (whatever a flying seal on roller skates might look like, I’m thinking pretty uncomfortable at least thats’ my guess) but it is almost here, and if you are into giving a little something something on the one day a year that you shouldn’t show extra affection just because Hallmark told you too, well then here are some last minute ways to get laid sucker! Well, possibly laid. I can’t guarantee anything, but these type of things, they sometimes do help.

1. A Romantic CD. These aren’t just any run-of-the-mill romantic CD’s full of mood music and violins. In fact, they’re quite the opposite. If you’re looking for something to turn your ears on, check out Sounds Erotic. I must confess that I do love the husband and wife team who created this company because they are totally passionate about what they’re doing, are all about making a quality product, and they have the cutest kids.

Okay, back to the CD’s, they’re like reading erotica, only someone else is reading it to you. Remember bedtime stories when you were a wee one? Bingo. That’s what these are, only dirtier. There’s a couple of versions. Sugar is the tamest, then Spice adds a little more zing, then Spank! for you naughty, naughty boys and girls.

Plus, if you enter this coupon code: Valentine2007 you get a free CD with your purchase. If you’re still weary, you can always download a sample for $1.99.

My Parents and Media Whores

It’s weird to see your parents on Fleshbot but they’re there. It’s even weirder to see your mom with this gaping mouth, moving towards the camera as if

My first movie is out

The Candida Royalle movie I produced is out NOW. It was released today and you can buy it anywhere. It’s called Under the Covers, and it’s got three, count ‘em THREE real life couples in it!

And I made it onto Viviane’s Sex Carnvial. The third pic down. That’s me and my newly married doctor brother.

Sex Parties

This weekend I attended my first dance party/sex party. Okay, this wasn’t exactly my first sex party, in fact I

Who are we?

A part of me - right now.

There’s so many things I’ve been meaning to say, and now, at 11:00 PM when I’ve spent to much time with my eyes glued to the computer (oh, yeah, poor baby) looking at websites of people I am no longer friends with (oh, wait that reminds me), I can’t remember what it is. But then I do.

This is not “hot topic news blog” but it’s what I’ve been thinking about nonetheless. I used to be friends with this guy, and I think we were supposed to actually be more than friends, but I think, at the time, the fact that I weighed 25 lbs. more than I do now was a total turn off to him. I know, I know, it shouldn’t matter, but after struggling with these issues my whole life I know it does. So anyway, I think this boy/man - I’ll call him BM for short, which will remind me of bowel movement, which will in turn remind me of what a shithead he is/was (yes, if he was a man he would have gotten over a lot of shit he never got over so it makes perfect sense) anyway, this BM and I, we had this unexplainable sexual attraction and we spent plenty of time together and nothing ever happened. And by plenty of time I mean every night that we could have.

I wanted to kiss him, so maybe it was my fault for never taking the lead. I wanted to slip my hand down his pants, to feel his cock, to see if I could make him hard, but for some reason I never felt okay with just going ahead and making the move. I sort of thought he was gay, and basically in denial, and I was afraid of rejection. So I made up this story in my head about how he could love me only so much, or only go so far, because he didn’t have the capacity to love another woman when he really was in love with men.