October 11, 2021

Needles in my neck

A pic that has nothing to do with the anything.

I want to tell you that I'm not a fan of needles, which is the truth, but it wouldn't seem that way if you knew me at all. I've never been a needle user, that's not what I'm getting at here, but I have three very large ink projects on the landscape of my back that all required plenty of needlework. On top of which I have an infatuation with hypochondria which generally brings me to the doctor, and then requires me to go through a blood test or two (meaning more needles). And of course there's the acupuncture, something I did for a while, but then didn't do, only to come back to doing it again, right now, to aggressively try to figure out this fucking problem in my ear.

And while I think it's working, I also think I had one of the freakiest experiences of my life yesterday while getting worked on. So I'm getting needles in my neck, behind my ear and in a place near my collarbone. While I've been going to my friend, who's a last year student in school for this stuff, yesterday his attractive male supervisor was the one who literally called my shots. He injected me through this tube, so that every time a needle went in to one of those incredibly uncomfortable spaces I would jump from the sound of the fast whizzing injection. Truthfully, most of them didn't hurt. Well, not like the ones in my hands and legs. But then, then I'm hooked up to his machine that is supposed to help move certain needles to continually challenge the muscle that they're attached to. The first needle he wants to move is at the base of my head, right above the neck. The second needles is actually in the center of my neck (well, on the right side).

I'm attached to this machine - the prongs of the machine are actually gripping the needles, and then he starts to crank up the juice. I'm suppposed to tell him when it hurts, which I eagerly do, and then he's supposed to stop, let me sit with it, and move on. Only today I've found out that they're going to try to test my limits in order to help tire the muscles and force them to let go of my fucking ear.

Okay, he turns up the juice on the first needle, the one in the back of my head, and I involuntarily start to move my shoulder. It's kind of weird, totally uncontrollable and beyond what I've ever experienced. Until he turns up the second needle, and the vibration travels down my right arm into my thumb, where I feel a pulse-pulse-pulsing every few seconds.

The student-doctor asks me if I'm alright. He sees that my arm is spazzing out and tells me that they can make people dance with this thing. I'm definitely dancing, and now I understand what Michael J. Fox must be going through. I'm sort of freaked out , if I swallow my body involuntarily spams. If I breathe too deeply my hand goes into a fist of rage. I have to use my left hand to hold my right hand down. Student-Teacher tells me he'll be back in fifteen minutes.

I guess I could have stopped him from leaving. Could have convinced him to turn off the sound machine, turn on the lights and stay with me in case the vibrations fucked with my body to the point where I couldn't control things any longer. But I didn't. I just watched as he shut the door, well, as much as anyone could watch with needles in their neck, and secretly prayed that I'd make it through the next fifteen minutes.

When Student-Teacher returned to the room his first comment was "Wow, you're really convulsing!" Which was something I guess I had thought he realized as he left the room. But I guess not. I don't know if I was supposed to be convulsing that much. I asked him if I could have had a heart attack, and while with my setup it wasn't likely (all the needles were on the right side of my body) had this happened and they were both on the right and left sides, then the answer was yes.

I felt like when it was happening I was losing memory, like my brain was being juiced as well. But today I feel better, and this morning my ear felt better than it has in a long time. Of course I also have a stiff neck and a sore ear, but if things only continue to get better than I can live with that.

So next week it's back to being the bride of Frankestein, at least for an hour of my life. And because maybe this will help, I embrace having needles in my neck.

Posted by jamye at October 11, 2021 10:52 AM