February 14, 2021

Too much thinking on Vday

For those who believe...

I find it ironic that while I really, truly don't give a heap of roses about today, I'm truly bummed that my boyfriend is sick, and for this alone I feel like I have to explore my own truths about "feelings" a bit further.

If we say we don't care about Valentines Day, does that mean we care, because I mean, we're already thinking about it by talking about it at all, wouldn't you agree?

If we say it's no big deal, but then we have to cancel our plans, and while we totally understand and aren't angry or upset even, but we feel a little disappointed about the whole thing, does that mean that it is a big deal?

If we come home later on to find out that our boyfriend is giving us the option of going out tonight (with him) or staying in (with him) and we choose going out, and that means we're getting what we initially wanted, even though we just bought salmon and could cook a meal at home instead, does that mean we care any less about him?

Or maybe I should just shut up, and stop thinking. After all, Valentines Day is just (for me) and excuse to excuse myself from all this nonsense, all this stuff we focus on when it comes to relationships and love, and just to love in the moment...and as he walks out of the shower naked, that's just what I intend to do.

Posted by jamye at February 14, 2021 06:45 PM