September 15, 2021

The Blaz...

Phonebooths. You just don't see them in New York anymore.

Before I's a not-so-funny, funny joke:

After Roberts' confirmation hearing yesterday Pres. Bush asked him how it was going. Roberts told Bush that the Senators wanted to know how he felt about Roe vs. Wade. For two days now, it has been nothing but "Roe versus Wade, Roe versus Wade." He asked the President, "what should I tell the Senators?"

Bush replied, "tell them you don't care how those people get out of New Orleans."
The same question (not as in the same as Bush's question but a question that continues to haunt me over and over) has been running through my rather tired mind all morning - *even though now it's late afternoon and I still haven't posted.... The question is Why? (that's the question), that's all. I didn't have to drink that much last night. I didn't have to come home wasted and think about partying more. I didn't have to go to sleep without drinking water, yet for some reason these things that I didn't have to do - these were all the things I did.

"Do you think I'm a manic depressive?" I asked my boyfriend this morning. "Is that why you think I drink too much sometimes?"

"No," he smartly replied. "I think it's habit," he answered.

Maybe he's right. I mean I can break a lot of my bad habits, but some are harder to do away with. Jonny doesn't drink, he barely gets f*cked up, and yet, at times I remain a party girl. And that makes me sad.

Would I be farther along in my career if I just went home every night and wrote?
Would I have my first book out by now?
Would I feel better about myself?

Today, the answer to all these questions is Yes.

I've finally made an appointment to go to a therapist. I don't know if that's something most people admit to, but I've never been to one before and I think that now's a good time to start going. After all, I'm on the brink of turning 31 and while I feel like my life is in my control, sometimes it just gets out of control.
Totally switching gears in under a nano-second...I'm doing the Derek and Romaine show on Sirius Radio tonight. I didn't realize I was doing it tonight, and not tomorrow, until about 3 minutes ago, thanks to a phone call from Romaine to confirm my appearance, but I'll be on from 7-8PM TONIGHT. Listen if you can.

Posted by jamye at September 15, 2021 05:10 PM