April 08, 2021

Crazy People

So, I'm "attempting" to cast for the How-To Video Shoot, and this lady Maria responded to my ad on craigslist... Here's how it went down.
My boyfriend and I are very interested in the couples video shoot. Please email me any information I may need to know prior to the shooting. I understand this shooting involves nudity and sex.

Thank you.


My Response:

here's the deal.
this is for playgirl tv..we are filming a series of how to
videos...one on cunnilingus and one on fellatio. there will be no
other sort of penetration, but each video will have one person
performing on the other. the shoot will take place in new york city -
april 26 and 27.

compensation is 500 per day per couple. can you send pics? and contact info?
Her response:

I'm sorry to have wasted your time but my boyfriend and I have changed our minds. we both have respect for ourselves, were both intelligent and we both agree that we do not nee to STOOP DOWN to that level just to get some extra cash. Have fun shooting those air headed macho small penis men and fake breasted anorexic/bulimic shallow bimbos with fake orgasms and wide stretch pussies with pimples and puss.



What issues do you think she's got going on? My email was professional and courteous, and this one, this one is just plain sad.

The Marketing Director sent me a great response to send them. I haven't done it yet, because I come from two frames of mind, the "let it be" space and the "respond and attack" place...
Then I was reminded of my recently favorite new customer at the sex toy store I work in. He was in his mid-fifties, and he was a lean, white man with a full beard and moustache. He came in this past Monday morning and made a beeline for the adult videos. The videos that are for sale are all tucked behind a glass case in the back of the store. Without even knowing that I had a cameo in the film, he pointed at Candida Royalle's "StudHunters" and asked me the price.

The price is on the box and I always get annoyed when someone asks without looking. Still I responded - $35.95. He got visibly upset. "Why is it so expensive?" he asked. I pointed him to some less expensive alternatives. Some older porn that was priced at $15. After looking displeased for less than 30 seconds, he went back to the glass where Studhunters lay and pointed at the box. "NO! I want that one," he exclaimed. "How much is it with tax?"

I guesstimated about $40. This was not good enough for him. He needed to know the EXACT price. As I headed back to the counter I mumbled under my breathe, "could you be a little nicer?" making sure he didn't hear me. He definitely didn't.

The price came to $39.05 with tax. He told me he'd be back in ten minutes, that he just lived down the block. He was more than a bit strange. Seemingly on edge, he asked me to place the video on hold for him, and as he headed out the door I noticed that he did a double take when he saw a police officer outside. The officer had been there all day, watching over the filming of some Mike Meyers movie, and this obviously disturbed my newest friend.

I am so glad I pulled the video from behind the glass because what happened next makes me believe if I didn't, there would have been hell to pay. He arrived back in the store promptly ten minutes later. Still dressed in all white, I now realize he smelled fairly badly. But that has nothing to do with the story. So, he unrolls this plastic bag which is the home of his money, or what I guess he'd call his "wallet", and takes out a white envelope. He then proceeds to count out forty crisp one dollar bills.

As he's counting them out, I notice a dime on the counter. "Just give me $39," I tell him. "I can use this dime so you can save the dollar." He looks at me puzzled as if I've just asked him to murder his first born. I repeat what I've just told him, thinking that if he was so upset about the price of the porn, this was as nice a gesture as any. He apparently didn't agree.

And, in the series of most bizarre responses I've ever received, sort of like that email this morning...he started to scream, "NO! THAT WOULD MEAN I DIDN'T PAY FOR THE WHOLE THING!"

So I handed him back his 95 cents and told him to have a great day.

Yes, I know..strange but true. I don't think I could have made that one up if I tried.

Posted by jamye at April 8, 2021 12:39 PM