September 24, 2021
I meant to post yesterday
But I was having problems. So today's post is full of lots of little "goodies."
Today I had this only in New York moment. I went to get my lip waxed which sounds a lot better than saying I got my moustache ripped off..
okay, now I'm going to barf...
anyway, this salon was full of old ladies. They were swarming around like this was a garage sale. Really. All over the place as if the shop was actually an old lady manufacturing plant. All of them had curlers in their hair, or curlers being removed from their hair. The final product of which was one of those really big bouffants that make them look at least five feet tall, when you and I both know they stand at about 3'7". So these Jewish bubbies (that's the word for grandma) are getting all dolled up for their hot dates in front of the TV, and I'm waiting for this waxing. This young girl brings me to the back of the salon, but raises her finger to her lips as if to say follow me but shut up, I know you're one of those loud girls.
She wheels the chair into this room and proceeds to wax my lip as I sit upright, next to some women whose getting a facial and her eyes happen to be forcibly closed by gauze, or lotion, or a combination of the two, so she has no idea I'm even there.
We both break out with laughter at some point, but quickly have to shut up before I am discovered. And within five minutes I am in and out, and that lady will most probably never know that I saw her with some crud on her eyes.
It was really funny. I promise.
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From Jeff Laurie's Sex News Daily I found this article.
ALBANY, N.Y. (September 20, 2021) -- University at Albany researchers have found a significant association between the perceived attractiveness of a person's voice and the sexual activity of the speaker. In addition, researchers discovered that judging a voice can predict certain aspects of the body type of the speaker.
Why do they have to try to write in such a boring style. Just fucking say that people with sexy voices get laid more..Say it dammit. Say it...
"When the phone rings," said psychologist Gordon G. Gallup Jr., "even though you may not know the person at the other end of the line, as soon as they speak you usually know whether you are talking to a male or female, and a child or adult. In other words, the sound of a person's voice conveys information about the biological status of the speaker. Our research shows that voice might be a medium that also conveys subtle information about sexual behavior and body configuration."
Duh!
In "Ratings of voice attractiveness predict sexual behavior and body configuration," published in the September issue of Evolution and Human Behavior, published by Elsevier, Susan Hughes, Franco Dispenza, and Gordon Gallup of the University's department of psychology tested 149 men and women by having them listen to recorded, neutral voices counting from 1 to 10. They were then asked to rate the anonymous voices on a scale from "very unattractive" to "very attractive." The results were compared to surveys and morphological measurements taken among the speakers. Researchers discovered that people whose voices are judged to be attractive tend to have sexual intercourse at an earlier age, have more sexual partners than those with voices rated less attractive, and are more prone to sexual infidelity. They also have more sex partners among people involved in other relationships.
"In short," Gallup said, "ratings of voice attractiveness are correlated with promiscuity in both men and women."
Yeah, baby...
In addition, the UAlbany researchers linked voice attractiveness to body features, including shoulder-to-hip ratio in men and waist-to-hip ratio in women. In the study, broad shoulders and narrow hips, which are related to testosterone and growth, can, like voice attractiveness, predict promiscuity in males. In women, voice attractiveness was linked to a narrow waist and broad hips, features also affected by hormones and growth and that predict female attractiveness and promiscuity.
This sort of sounds like me, no?
The authors also note in their report that there is growing evidence that a person's voice might convey important information not usually associated with communication or sexual appeal. For instance, ratings of voice attractiveness also predict deviations from bilateral symmetry in both men and women. In comparing the length of the fingers on both hands, they noted that people with voices rated as attractive tend to have finger lengths on one hand that more closely match those on the other. As ratings of voice attractiveness decrease, the deviations between features on one side of the body and the other become greater -- in other words, as the voice is rated less attractive, the body tends to be less symmetric.
I don't really have a symmetrical body though.
The report's authors conclude that the sound of a person's voice can be used to predict features associated with reproductive success including sexual behavior, body configuration, and bilateral symmetry, and theorize that prior to the development of means of artificial lighting, at night people were more reliant on voice as a means of discerning valuable reproductive characteristics of others.
Even though I can't sing, after this article, Do you want to have sex with me? If you're related to me, don't think about this question. If not, I'm waiting for your answer...
In the meantime..I was walking down the street the other day, and this came to me...
Attention (Certain) Construction Workers and other Slimy Men:
Don't stare at me as I walk by
You PATHETIC MOTHERFUCKER(s)
I did not get dressed this morning for your personal satisfaction.
I am not here to please you and
I hate you for thinking that how you say "hey baby, now that's what I'm talking about" is in any way original.
NEWSFLASH - it's not.
What is it about the female form that makes you act so much more than stupid?
Were you deprived of a mother after birth?
Breasts and Ass will always be around, don't gawk at them as if this is the first time you've realized this.
You are nothing more than a slobbering idiot, a blithering baboon, an excuse for human life. Don't make me stoop to your level ever again.
Do you understand?
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Oh, and I Found this attempt at humor on Craigslist yesterday:
So, times have been a bit tough lately and I've decided to talk to my apartment company, or at least the security guards, about renting one of the four sections of the revolving door (really, it's swanky) at the lesser used entrance of the building. While there would need to be some care taken, you would only be gaining the ability to sleep in the portion of the door at night. You could shower in the apartment and keep your things in some closet space; however, due to the ease at which high gloss wood laminate stains I would not let you keep more than a suitcase or two which you would only have access to every other Friday. You will not be allowed overnight guests. NO SMOKING, DRINKING, PARTYING, DANCING, YOGA, or JUDO please. No pets.
You should be warned that there is a possibility of being spun a few times during the evening when the occasional person needs to use the entrance. I think it's something that comes with the territory. Oh, and there's a very loud club next door which may make sleeping a bit difficult at times (think 24 hour Macarana festival a few years ago, to give you an idea)
IF the above terms sound reasonable and you would like to arranged for a viewing, please resond.
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Resond? WTF??? If you are going to try to be funny, at least be funny and have proper spelling. It's the little things that are setting me off today. The little things.