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Sunday, January 20 2008

Sporadic Sex News

I’d like to say I give you the sex news daily, or even weekly, but we both know that’s not quite true. Still, every once in a while, it’s good to poke around and see what people are saying about sex in the media.

Oprah talks orgasms.

Actually she talks about “self-cultivation” (aka masturbation) which can lead to orgasms, or at least to a few moments of pleasure. She does it with Dr. Christian Northrup - not have an orgasm, but talk about masturbation. I’m so happy that masturbation, albeit not called that, is being spoken about on the afternoon circuit. And they also talk about pelvic floor muscle exercises, or kegel exercises, which are so important for women to practice - and so good for better orgasms! Too bad, she couldn’t plug my book while she was at it.

Mike Huckabee will burn in hell.

I know he doesn’t believe it himself (the “that he’s going to hell” part) but if Republican Presidential Hopeful Mike Huckabee keeps saying nasty, untrue things about sexuality he totally is. I still can’t believe that he has such a large following of narrow-minded people in this world, but he does. How can you not get how backwards this guy is? I mean a man who links homosexuality to bestiality and abortion to slavery has got more than a few screws loose.

About abortion Huckabee waxed prolific: “That’s again the logic of the Civil War — that slavery could be okay in Georgia but not okay in Massachusetts. Obviously we’d today say, ‘Well, that’s nonsense. Slavery is wrong, period. It can’t be right somewhere and wrong somewhere else.’ Same with abortion.”

The fact of the matter is this wackjob has a growing contingent of religious fanatics fighting Huck’s war. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was another Ted Haggard, because I do believe that people who speak with such vile hatred have plenty of internalized hatred too, not to mention lots of other secret things hanging around their closets (like size nine heels, sequins and a strap-on). Hopefully he’ll never have a closet in the White House to hang his shit, or get fucked up the ass, in.

Speaking of presidential candidates, I will say that if John Edwards could win this year’s election, I’d be ecstatic. Why can’t Obama just be his VP for four years and then we can switch things up if we want to? Edwards seems more real than one of those real dolls, and that’s who I’m voting for him in the primaries. Nonetheless, I got a disturbing email today, I think it was from Planned Parenthood but I can’t find it now. Basically it said that Obama hasn’t done anything to help women in the fight for emergency contraception or to keep abortion legal. It said that’s he’s only been “present” on votes but not an “active” voice for women. The email continued by citing that Clinton was really at the forefront of women’s rights, but the truth is I don’t trust Clinton. I mean, I don’t think you can trust any politician, but there’s something off about Clinton. I just think she’s a liar. Although I do appreciate what she’s tried to do, especially in terms of universal health care and women’s rights. And I’m sure she’s no better or worse than the rest of them, well, hopefully with the exception of Edwards. Like I’ve said before, politics is a way dirtier word than sex.

The Jewish Girl’s Giving Better Head Debate Makes a “Come”back.

You might remember a few years back there was a rather suggestive picture of me looking as I’ve I’d just done some nasty things to a long-ass shofar. If this doesn’t jog your memory, I’m sure you can find the picture online. Anyway, the super-funny and talented writer and author Rachel Shukert (who originally wrote that piece for Heeb Magazine) has given second-life to the article in the book Best Sex Writing 2008. I find it fascinating that no matter what else I do (give birth to an alien baby, discover a cure for nail biting or become the spokesperson for the emancipation of the foreskin) I will always be remembered for giving head. This isn’t a bad thing, in fact, it’s a great resume builder if I’m ever single again, but I find it hilarious that my name will always be linked, like Bill Clinton’s, to the blowjob.

Tell Me You Love Me


2 Responses to “Sporadic Sex News”

  1. Hank in Albuquerque Says:

    But,alas, no one will probably ever say to you, “Grandma Monica, did you really blow the President?”


  2. Dave Says:

    Fucking Huckabee. I hope the line of rapists he will endure in hell will be as long and as hard as I hope the rapists themselves would be.

    Wow, sorry ’bout that.

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