At afterellen dot com - my first movie review is up, although I don’t think the editor loved my more than objective approach. She wrote her own counterreview, which I think is important to read. But it’s up..my review..and that makes me happy.

Let’s see - what else have I gotten up recently? My body. Out of bed at 9AM because I have this addiction to drinking at least two cups of dining hall tea in the morning. Okay, it’s not really a dining hall, more of a room with some prepared foods, including cheese, bread, yogurt, hardboiled eggs and vegetables, but I like the tea. We all have things we like, and when we like them we may overdue them. Like drinking tea. I like making tea, with a bit of cream or milk, I have no idea which it is at least not while I’m here in Prague, and two sugars. When I get back to New York, I want to cut out a lot of the sugar and all of the too much pasta and bread I’m consuming. But when in Prague…

my clothes just won’t fit…

Isn’t it funny how when we are on vacation the food we eat never really “counts.” It’s as if we take some magical pill allowing us to eat as much as we want as often as we want it. Like vacation sex, vacation food doesn’t matter, unless of course you want it to. Vacation play is all about making your own rules. Not that school is a vacation, but you know what I mean.

Oh..and I saw some not so everyday things people use or watch to get it up (keeping in theme of course). Like a blow up sheep, blow up cow and blow up pig, all with holes for men to stick. Seriously creepy but cool. And the videos, let’s just say doody just shouldn’t be on a box cover. I will never look at bodily waste the same again. And, how unsanitary is it for someone to actually eat shit? I’m talking either your own or another person’s?

Just asking…

Even the dogs in Prague have problems

That’s the problem with people, we all have our own issues, insecurities, uncertainties. We all have things we don’t like to hear about ourselves, and other things we refuse to believe.

There will always be a point when you cross that line. That fine line between funny and not so ha ha. That time when you write a blog and it offends someone or everyone or no one at all. Every person who puts themselves out there will ultimately piss off at least one other person.

I can’t think when I write or I would sensor myself more than I already do. I am not always politically correct, in fact I’m not always correct for that matter..but at least I try to make an effort, a difference, a dent.

You may have problems with me for who I am or who I will never become. But that’s your problem, not mine.

And now that I’ve gotten what I like to call the things that make me sad off my already larger than it’s ever been because all I do is eat fried cheese in Prague chest I plan on taking a shower and going out. But first, I must deal with a problem.

Dying my hair. Last time I tried to dye my hair I almost admitted myself into a mental hospital. The situation was stressful. I was visiting my aunt in LA, and decided that midnight on a Thursday would be the perfect time for a dye job. After getting sloppy, I hadn’t only dyed my hair jet black, I had dyed most of her white cabinets as well. I spent the rest of the night contemplating what kind of note I would leave her as I ran away never to return while, at the same time, trying to scrape the black dye off the walls (soft scrub saved my life). I’ve also dyed rugs, towels, pillows, shower curtains, small fluffy animals, clothing and other things that absorb black hair dye, or, in other words just about everything.

So, as I get ready to get the dye out of my hair, I wonder..what will I ruin this time?

I just ate something off my sheets, it was next to the scraps of a chocolate bar that Shasta, Sara and I just finished, and I thought it was some bits of cocoa. But it was salty, too salty for my chocolaty tastes, and now I’m not so sure that I didn’t eat a chocolate booger.

Sara wants me to write about her. She’s one of my favorite people in what is one of my top three favorite cities in the world, at least right now, as in July 28, 2004. Although I wasn’t even sure what the date was before I started writing this. I had to check the date, because life is a blur in Prague. It’s not that I’m doing all that much partying, school is a lot of work, and then there’s work on top of work on top of work.

My crew in Prague is like the kids from Freaks and Geeks, even though I’m just guessing that that is what we’re like because I’ve never seen the show. We have one popular girl in our group, that’s my friend Sara, and while I’m not sure why she hangs out with a Cabbage Patch Kid that dresses like Michael Jackson, a neurotic, confused Jew, two lesbians who crave sex every time they are fucked up, a gay boy who suffers from partial face paralysis when he isn’t doing the talking and a feminist with a penchant for punk, I’m really glad she does (BTW - can you guess who is who?). Plus, she is my third and final roommate…and let me just say that that is a treat in itself.

Trust me, if you knew Sara you’d wish you were here.

“S”ara&”M”e
In India, where they still arrange marriages, I can understand some of the benefits: * I read a chapter about this in class which is why I even bring it up. I am not actively looking for an arranged marriage, or any marriage for that matter, I just find the whole idea of the institution as the be all, end all, fascinating.

Heterosexually speaking:

Girls don’t spend their lives searching for their husband instead they spend their lives creating a family and married life.

One of the ways in which matches are made is that couples are picked by their families, which usually means that the two families will try to get along. That’s hard for families in the U.S. to do.

Couples spend their lives getting to know each other after marriage, instead of before, which means that by the time they marry there life is still exciting, while for a lot of Americans, their life is more or less over. In other words - lack of complacency in marriage, at least at the beginning.

Some of the negatives:

Women are usually taken from their families to go live with the family of their husband. Women are expected not to see their families often.

Class structure is a big determining factor in matching. You generally don’t marry outside of your class, and this leaves less room for diversity.

You don’t experience dating as much, but courtship can last a few years…

———————————————————————————————
You can always find a love match, which is what they call it when two people meet outside of an arrangement. However, it is difficult to know that the families will ever get along if your marriage is planned without the consent of your parents.

While I used to hate the idea of arranged marriages, I kind of understand them better now. After all, in the United States 1 out of ever 2 marriages ends in divorce. In India, well, I don’t know the statistics but I’d venture to bet it’s not that high - or I can lie, okay, I will. I think in India 1 out of every 50 marriages ends in divorce (and that still might be high).

Other than that…
if you want to get grossed out..click here

…it’s not from masturbating, or actually it could be from masturbating, because I did enough of it today, but it also could be from typing, because I’ve been typing a damn lot more than I’ve been masturbating. I have 2 papers due tomorrow and one column. And then I am writing my first movie review for a website for lesbian and bisexual women, and others who like to read writing geared at lesbian and bisexual women. It will be up by the end of the week, and I will be sure to tell you how to read it…and I’d love some honest critiques…no, I’m lieing, I’d hate that, no, not really, see, I want you to judge me.

Judge me.

My wrist hurts from all this damn typing. Not from masturbation. Its my own well researched conclusion. With (did I happen to mention in the last paragraph) 2 papers due tomorrow and 3 columns due by Thursday I’m not complaining, just bragging and procrastinating and debating the meaning of writing so many papers that I will never read again. or most probably never read again. Unless my professors make me redo them. Although I don’t think I will redo them. I want a few days of not thinking. Just enjoying. Will that be possible?

Please. Before Amsterdam. Please.

Oh. Have I mentioned that my wrists hurt?

I have been to Austria and back and now I know the meaning of life.

Deodorant.

I smelled bad ass on the train back to Prague today. Partially because I was wearing the same shirt I wore yesterday, and partially because I fell asleep on the train. The warm, humid train, and I sweat when I sleep. Don’t we all?

I showered this morning, but I could smell my pits without putting my nose up my pits, if you know what I mean. I like how I smell, and I know that I’ve said this before. And, besides that, Vienna was about more than pits.

Sigmund Freud. Went to his house. The Museum of Modern Art. Controversially exciting. I watched a movie of a performance artist drinking his own pee. Actually pissing in a cup, and then drinking his pee. I hear your own urine is good for you.

But that was only part of the trip. And now I must digress.

You know what I find hard about writing my blog from Europe? I like to tell stories, and not give day to day accounts of what I’ve done, and it’s hard to communicate through story when everyday is a new experience. Although every day should be a new experience.

And it is. Here. And I’ve formed many unique relationships. Fantastic ones that I hope last longer than just a promise to communicate via email.

We all make promises we can’t keep, and some we can. That’s part of life. And another part of life is Amsterdam.

Oh yeah, I booked a flight to Amsterdam last week. Right after Prague I will spend many a glorious night in the land of sex and drugs. and sex and drugs. and…

Cow Parade Prague 2004

It’s really warm here during the day, and day lasts until after 9 at night, and since there is no air conditioning in a large part of prague, it is quite hot and i am sweaty. Not that that’s such a bad thing, after all, even if we hate the smell of other people’s body odor, we can all secretly admit that we like the smell of our own. And even if you deny it now, you know you are thinking of sniffing your pits as you read.

Go ahead. Sniff away.

I toy with the idea of living here, even though the winters sound unbearable, and the summers, well, the summer hangs like a blanket over my shoulders (how “really bad” cliche).

It’s hot. I’m tired and cranky, but not in that annoying, whiny kind of way.

I climbed at least that many stairs yesterday.

I want my butt to look rock solid, you know, to try and pick up men and women, cats and dogs, and other things that go bump in the night, because this trip is all about a solid ass. Okay, and because these two places, both with amazing views, had steps to be walked. One had approximately 257 steps and one 132, which yes, I know doesn’t quite add up to 400, but I also live on the 4th floor of a dorm style walk up, and I actually walk up and down the steps many times a day, in class, and in Prague, so I know I walked up and down over 400 stairs- even if yesterday it was all for the view. In fact, I saw two of the most spectacular views of this city. One at the Prague Castle and one from the Charles Tower.

But these steps, they were hell. They were punishment for all the times I pinched my brother’s arm and filed my sisters fingernails down while I made her believe that filing was the fastest way to make them grow.

Every last one of these stairs from hell went around in some sort of circular spiral, first up towards that magnificent view, and then, on the way down to a dizzying and long torturous walk. Going up wasn’t bad, although I produced enough sweat to bottle my own line of perfume, but going down, that constantly looking at your feet, the small passageways, the foreigners who fail to understand the word deoderant, these were a few of my least favorite things.

And then…that night, I went out with the girl I like to call my biggest surprise friend, because she is one of those girls that I wasn’t sure I would be as close with as I am, and I am so glad this is the case. And in the midst of all that, I ran into one of my friends, a fairly well known “adult film star” who just happened to be in Prague for some fornification of the paid kind. I love when two paths cross like that. Over and over again.

It was 4:15AM before I made it home. I almost watched the sun rise, but I decided I needed a couple of hours sleep before class today.

Which was a good thing because, trust me, it was.

Instead I keep showing you pictures of me in places that can be anywhere. I’m sort of a tease like that, giving you something you want but never enough of it really.

Tease.
(1)To annoy or pester; vex.
(2)To make fun of; mock playfully.
(3)To arouse hope, desire, or curiosity in without affording satisfaction.

How bad is being a tease?

I guess it depends which side of the teasing you’re on. For the person doing the said act, it’s a mind game, a power trip, maybe even personal satisfaction. For the other person it’s a burden, a stress, the cause of anxiety and frustration. A lot of frustration.

I’ve always been a tease. Sort of. But I’m putting up pictures of Prague. In my photo section. And I will keep adding new pictures. I promise. Because being a tease can only last so long before the other person stops caring. I don’t want that to happen to you and me.

Thinking..In Prague

Yes, I know I am in Prague..but there’s just some stories that make you want to share…

What if there were a gene that determined how we handle relationships? If we were monogamous by nature or not? Could that ever be possible, or just a good excuse for our actions?

From an article on MSN.com:
“It is intriguing to consider that individual differences in vasopressin receptors in humans might play a role in how differently people form relationships.”
Researchers say fewer than 5% of mammals are monogamous by nature, and these findings may offer new clues to the genetic and biological processes behind monogamy and how humans form lifelong social bonds.

And in other news. More reasons to hate certain types of Bush…even though there is hope yet…
WASHINGTON (CNN) — Efforts to pass a constitutional amendment that would effectively ban same-sex marriage failed in the Senate Wednesday afternoon, but supporters vowed to keep fighting for the measure. The White House released a statement from President Bush in which he said he was “disappointed” that the amendment was “temporarily blocked” in the Senate and urged the House to take up the matter.
“Activist judges and local officials in some parts of the country are not letting up in their efforts to redefine marriage for the rest of America, and neither should defenders of traditional marriage flag in their efforts,” Bush said in his statement.
Six Republicans — including Sen. John McCain of Arizona — joined 43 Democrats and one independent to defeat the measure. Three Democrats and 45 Republicans voted for it.

And in other news…
While I continue enjoying/exploring Prague, my mind is on a constant spin cycle. I feel as if there are a number of voices telling me what to do (not in that committed sort of way). see, i have five days at the end of my trip, five days to either explore more of europe with a fat ass suitcase, or five days to relax in lichfield with my talented writer friend and get on working on some projects. while i want to travel i also want to relax, and the worst part is i feel i have to make a decision soon, so that i make sure i get back to london to leave on august 12th - and don’t pay ridiculous prices to get there.

what would you do?