February 12, 2021

Are women having too much mediocre sex?

Is that what she's pondering, ya think?

So late notice, but this is what happens when you're writing a book and heading to LA in one weeks time to shoot your first three adult films when you're the triple-whammy - which means "host," "director" and "writer of scripts" yes, scripts these are "how to" films. Yeah, I know, I'm not looking for any sympathy, I'm just hoping this all turns out the way I want it to.

Regardless, life goes one, so yes, short notice, back on track, tomorrow, 10AM - I'll be live on Greenstone Media's The Lisa Birnbach show discussing "ways to express yourself and spice up your love life." Just in time for (gag, choke, hock a big loogie) Valentines Day.

So, if you've got your ways...let 'em rip. You can email me, or better yet call in tomorrow (the show is on from 9AM - Noon, but again I was told 10AM) and tell me what you think..here's the number - 1.877.443.LISA

Now, can you get your satisfaction?

There's new book saying that most women cannot. It's called Satisfaction: Women, Sex and the Quest for Intimacy (Ballentine/Random House) and it's revealed this shocking finding that, gasp, hold breath, let it out and then hold chest in disbelief, lots of women have mediocre sex lives because women are achieving too much and not staying home enough.

The good news is that the authors, Anita Clayton and Robin Cantor-Cook, are hoping that the book helps women to realize that if they want it, they deserve sexual satisfaction, the bad news is that for a lot of women I don't think sex is high on the priority list of things to get done on a regular basis. Especially since, in order to turn a lot of regular men on, women need to fluff, prep and pamper themselves, taking the time to trim, tuck and well, titillate. And we don't have the time to do it.

I think that part's the truth. I see an attractive man in a pair of (anything but white) boxer briefs and I'm good to go, while my boyfriend asks me to dress up in thigh highs, heels and a come fuck me negligee. I so rarely do this for him, even though I know I should, but I'm one of those overachievers, and I'm tired and when I want sex, I just want my sex. The fact of the matter is that I'd get even more of the sex I want if I just took the time to turn him on in these little (albeit time consuming) ways.

People don't have that much sex in general. That's the truth. I mean when you first get together you have lots of sex, and spend lots of time doing it. But as time passes the sex starts to wax and wane, and wane and wane, and even if you're doing it four times a week it's a heck of a lot less than you were doing it in the beginning.

Here's a quote I found from Clayton about her reasons for writing the book.
"We need to change the belief system that is holding us back. We have incorporated the belief that beautiful people have the best sex." Uhm, maybe you have incorporated that belief but I haven't. Beautiful people just look the most beautiful having sex, which by nature is an awkward act to watch anyone doing.

The truth is, good sex comes from sharing an intimacy with your partner that goes beyond the bedroom (or wherever you have sex). Stress and family may limit the sex we have, but they aren't the causes of mediocre sex because when we have sex, regardless of how often, its either going to be good, bad, so-so or well, boring. In fact, physical sex is just a part of sex as the relationship continues. Sex happens in my mind and not only in my genitals. Plus if my partner and I can't find compatible times to get off, there's always mmm...masturbation, and let me tell you that's another form of satisfying sex.

So, what exactly is mediocre sex? Do I have to buy the book to find out? And is mediocre sex better than no sex at all? I'm not I'm sold on this one, but I'm not completely unsold yet either.

Posted by jamye at February 12, 2021 06:22 PM