I'm procrastinating. Actually that's only half true. A British film crew should be here in half an hour to talk to me about the moral debate surrounding America's pornography industry. Sometimes I don't think it's so moral. Sometimes I picture it as two little children throwing sand from opposite ends of the box. One says, "I'm right," and the other says, "I'm right," and they both wind up with sand in their mouths.
Now - The Brazilian. I never thought I'd get so carried away. I never thought I'd let it go this far. During the filming of Candida Royalle's "Under the Covers" last month, when I knew I would be exposing my bare bottom for the world to see, or at least for the cast and crew of "Under the Covers" to see, I knew that if I was going to expose myself, I was going to get rid of the hair in my ass. It sometimes grosses me out to talk about the fact that I have hair in my ass, but then I think that we all have hair in our asses, and I don't feel so bad. Still, I didn't want to see it on film, so I went to get it waxed out of me.
I went to this really nice lady, Niki, who also happens to thread my brow - which is like using dental floss to remove hair, but it works - and I told her I was ready to take the plunge. Only I wasn't really fully ready to commit. She told me ripping the hair off my lips would hurt the most, so I told her not to do it. Instead she gave me a nice bikini wax, and took the hair out of my ass. I was satisfied, but still curious.
I'm doing a lot of traveling over the next few weeks. Between traveling and working I hardly have time for anything else. Since this weekend is camping, and next weekend is Mexico, I decided that this past Tuesday would be Brazil(ian). It had to be Tuesday, because that's the only day that Niki works. And Niki's so nice and gentle, I wouldn't let just anybody get their hands on my hoo-hoo. I go back to Niki. She remembers me. Recites off the list of things I want done. We finish the face. She makes me wait. I'm getting more nervous as she flosses another girl’s brows. Then she takes me to the back room where I proceed to undress.
"I'm going to go for the almost full Brazilian." I tell her. "Just leave a little patch of hair on the front."
She happily obliges. Things get started. Not so bad, but not so good. Have you ever had a waxing? If you haven't, it might be hard to imagine, but if you have, you're probably already feeling my pain. Someone drips hot wax on your body with a tongue depressor, and then with a swatch of paper towel, after pressing the paper towel into your body to stick to the wax, they literally rip the towel, and wax off of you. I'm amazed that your skin even stays on, because I'm talking RIP if off here...
Anyway, the top of my mound is not so pleasant. As she proceeds further down, it gets even worse. And then I notice I'm bleeding.
"This is perfectly normal," she tells me. "Lots of women bleed when areas are first waxed."
Whomever thought of this, I wonder. I mean, did someone once, accidentally, drip hot wax all over their body, and then decide to rip it off with some paper towel to see what it did. It's such a simple, painful procedure. Where did it come from?
I try to stay still, but my pussy is throbbing. It's as if it as a heartbeat of its own. It's warm and getting warmer by the minute. And not in that good warm and fuzzy sort of way.
And then she goes for the lips. Rrrriiipppppp......I let out a yelp. She asks if I'm okay. I tell her I am, although deep down inside I'm afraid that next time she rips, I might bite off my tongue. I practice breathing. I think of anything I can think of, just so I don’t think. I can’t think. Not in the moment. I can’t go through with this. That’s what I’m thinking. So what can I think of. I can’t think of the fact that she's not done getting the hair off this lip, and then there's a whole other side. I think of nothing.
I'm not big into this waxing I decide. But I don't mind how it feels when she rips the hair out of my ass. I don’t like how it looks doing it, but I don’t mind how it feels. Imagine, kneeling down on all fours, and then spreading your own butt cheeks, so some stranger can proceed to look at your asshole and rip out your ass hairs. It's a dirty job, but Niki’s got to do it.
We finish and it takes longer than I remember, and I'm in pain. After I put back my clothes, I begin leaking all over the place, thanks to the globs of oil and lotion Niki's lathered onto my body to stop the irritation and “normal amounts” of bleeding. I get off the subway to go help out with a radio show, and my butt starts to vibrate. I mean really vibrate. It's as if someone's manipulating a vibrator in my ass. Since I know there's no vibrator between my two butt cheeks, I'm not sure about the feeling. But I go with it. I mean, what else can I do really?
The whole night, every time I pee, I check out my coochie. It's red and plump and it's angry at me for putting it through some form of torture. I get home that night and show J. what I've done. He seems to like it a little, but not as much as the pain is worth. We both agree a little more hair couldn't hurt. And this is quite a relief, as I don't really want to wax my lips again. I don't mind the bikini, or the vibrating butt (at least in the end), but I don't want to lose anything precious and near my lips (i.e. my clit). So I'm happy to stay away from those parts.
Truth is, I'm not even thinking about when I'm going to do this again. There's too many weeks of too many things, and hair or no hair, I've got places to go. And none of them have Brazil in the title.
Posted by jamye at May 25, 2021 04:12 PM
because sex matters...