April 20, 2021

Fasting on 420

Where I spent last weekend

Last night was more than not so good. Actually, it was terrible. When you have a loving, caring partner who will actually clean up your vomit, you know your in good company, but when you have nothing but liquids to vomit, you get a little scared about your health. And then when you read on one of the master cleanse diets that only in severe cases, the kind where people are ultra toxic, do you have the nauseous and vomiting that may ensue, as it did last night, to me. And this makes me wonder, what kinds of toxins are leaving my system, and am I a diseased little girl?

I know I've been a party girl for way too long, and maybe now, at 31, my party days are numbered. I want to feel healthy. I want to feel alive and connected to my body. I'm thinking of giving up drinking completely, with certain clauses like when I'm out of town, or on special occasions, it's okay (once in a while). I think that was last night's lesson. Between one end and the other, I lost a lot of stuff at around 10PM Wednesday. Thankfully, I didn't lose my dignity, as I have a fantastic boyfriend to help me get through the roughest of times. But everything else, well that's gone now.

I almost even cheated. Or, more technically had food stayed down it would have been over. I tried to eat some soup and an almond, but nope, no luck. I did however manage to scarf down a couple of Motrin, which did help with the headache. I'm sure that wasn't a very fast-like thing to do, but last night I wasn't feeling very fast-like.

So, today I decided after little contemplation, to try, once again, to get on with the fast. While yesterday I exercised, today there will be no such ridiculousness. Not until I can guarantee a headache free evening.

Only a few more days of this. Well, actually a little more than a few, but I'm trying not to count. Instead, I'm trying to drink as much of this fast food as I can. Anything to avoid last night from happening ever again.

That is my wish for today.

Oh, and for those of you not fasting, and into the date, It is 420. A very green day, but also the day of Columbine (just as I bring you high, I can also take you low).

Posted by jamye at April 20, 2021 04:48 PM