April 13, 2021


Last night I was meant to explode. I'm lucky I didn't, but yes, last night, my body had decided that it was on the verge of combustion. I couldn't handle anymore. Food. Drink. Air. Last night, I totally overconsumed.

It's a cycle I go through. A part of who I am, and how I eat. I hate myself the next day, but last night my brain shut off so my mouth could function on it's own, and at ease. Not such a good thing. Especially when you're body isn't used to working that way anymore. I used to eat a lot. But not so much anymore, which is part of the reason I've lost 20 pounds. I can't eat like I used to, well, unless of course I'm in that cycle. But that cycle only lasts a day or two, before I begin to cleanse again. The cycle sucks though. Last night it sucked the worst. I couldn't physically shove any more food down my throat. My tummy hurt so bad. I needed to throw up, but I didn't want to stick a finger down my throat. I'm not that kind of girl.

Still, last night I could have been (that kind of girl). After all, at a Passover Seder, I just eat and eat and eat. It's not like there's much else to do, except drink. Have you ever been to a Passover Seder?

And now I'm still not fully recovered. I'm hoping to walk some of it off today. I'm hoping to walk the rest off tomorrow. And then I'm planning on doing that liquid fast next week - the Master Cleanse. Hopefully, all will go as planned, and after tonight's Passover seder (yes, I'm a two time good Jew this year) I will not combust.

Because I'm not ready to explode. Well, not like that anyway.

Posted by jamye at April 13, 2021 12:05 PM