March 20, 2021

A Man's Right to Her Baby

This article caught my attention in yesterday's NY Times.

It's all about unwed fathers and their right to be a single parent if the mother decides to carry the fetus to term and then put it up for adoption. I must say it's not something I had thought much about, although I've always followed the work of Dr. Warren Farrell, who, while not mentioned in this article, probably had a hand in bringing it about.

Of course, it's not easy to file for custody of a woman's fetus, especially if the man isn't with the woman anymore. There are 30 states that have a state putative father registry, and apparently in some states the father must actually claim paternity, while in others it's all about the possibility of his fathering a child. In other words, if he's just had sex with a woman, and thinks she might have gotten preggers, he can call up the registry and register as the possible father to Lady X's baby. Even if she never conceives, he's now, in a sense, covered his ass. But if the father claims paternity after an adoption petition is filed, he has no chance of ever taking custody of that child.

Such an interesting story about an often overlooked portion of the potential parenting population. And while it is the woman's right to initially choose what happens to her fetus, if she decides to birth it and then give it up for adoption, shouldn't the father have a right to decide if he wants to raise the child?

I think the answer is yes. Of course, it all depends. I talk about it a little, and them some other things too, this week on my podcast. *The other things include the G Spot and the Prostate.

Now, unrelated, but on the topic of sex, the FCC is ass damn backwards. Yes, that's right. Apparently they're slapping $3.9 million fines on a TV show that portrayed a not too explicit, but explicit enough, teen sex orgy.

C'mon, like teens aren't having sex. Unfortunately we (meaning anyone who reads this is the United States) live in one of the prudest of countries. Sex is wrong, but violence, well, that's alright by us.

Sex in the form of rape is okay, because that's not consensual. And so is murder and fighting, (the FCC loves that kind of shit). This is the problem though. Sex is natural, even if the FCC wants to believe it's not. Sex is something almost all of us will try at some point in our lives and it's something we will try to enjoy when we do it. So tell me again why we can't watch sexually suggestive material on TV? Why we can watch blood and guts without worry, but why is sex so wrong, wrong, wrong?

It's sex dammit. Not brutality. It's about exploration, mutual understanding, love or like. It's about connection. How do we beat that into the FCC?

Posted by jamye at March 20, 2021 02:39 PM