January 18, 2022

Me and my news

Blue: After hitting the bottle.

I'm a clown in the circus, the one who learned to juggle, only I can't really juggle and I keep dropping things.

I'm a hamster in a glass cage with to many toys and not enough space, only I don't want to throw anything out.

I'm Augustus in the Chocolate Factory with everything going for me, only I get too excited and I fail to see beyond the Chocolate river.

I am a little bit of all these people, but at the same time knowing that I am all of these things puts me at an advantage. I can change. I can take my weaknesses and make me strong.

Nobody is watching me try to juggle. My cage isn't glass and I can get rid of things. And I haven't fallen into the chocolate river.

But for not working a full time job, I have no free time. Well, not none, of course I have as much free time as I want, but I'm not using most of my time in that way. Okay, yes, fine, I had a lot of free time this weekend when Jonny and I headed to Rochester, NY for a nice, fun time, but back in Brooklyn, things feel different.

And now here's my big, personal news (oh yeah, give me the big news baby):

Jonny and I signed a lease TOGETHER last week. Yes, we're moving in together. It's both of our very first time's living with a significant other, or former flova, or whatever, except for those three months I lived in SF and I had a relationship with an already unavailable man and he basically lived with me. But that was different. I also had a roommate, and it also happened to be his apartment. This is our place, our very own space to decorate and make a home. It will be the two of us and Blue, the most amazing Siamese cat I've ever met. He purrs like no other and I love to love him too much.

I'm really excited to live with my boyfriend. Everyone keeps telling me that this is such a big step, but the truth is, it feels right. Although this may continue to affect my writing, at least when it comes to a certain "dating" column, it's something I've been wanting for a very long time. I think the time and the place were just right for both of us. He's really excited as well. We move in less than two weeks and I can't wait. I am so tired of constantly dragging my stuff from one place to another. I've been staying at his place these past few days because his roommates are gone. And it's nice, but it doesn't feel quite right because I'm still a guest in his home. When we get into our space, then this won't be an issue.

And then I can focus on everything else that just might happen. And I will learn to juggle with less balls, I will get rid of the big, plastic wheel in my cage, and I will overcome the temptations of the Chocolate River.

Posted by jamye at January 18, 2022 02:52 PM