May 09, 2021
Handjobs and Movies
The piece Steppin' Out asked me to adjust (just a little bit). It'll come out this week and since children have access to the mag. I wasn't allowed to actually write the word handjob.
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“Take back the handjob! Take back the handjob!” We shouted down Fifth Avenue.
“What do we want?”
“Handjobs”
“When do we want them?”
”Now”
Drivers honked. Boys smiled. Occasionally girls did to. I liked noticing the fresh expressions on people’s faces as they remembered their own first awkward hand job experiences. The refreshing and shocked glances were not something you see everyday on Fifth Avenue, but this was all part of the video shoot, all part of my own brand of sex education, a type of edutainment involving humor. Sex is supposed to be funny, even if some people didn’t find us all that hysterical.
Like the English professor who thought that “take back” was improper use of the English language. Why are language guys so stuffy? It’s like reclaim. Or bring back. It means I’m all for handjobs.
For partners, handjobs are a great way to start any oral sex experience. They’re also a good way to give your mouth a rest. You should use lube, look each other in the eyes, and then stroke it like you mean it.
He didn’t see the humor, or the fact that I was giving him some good advice. He couldn’t see the bigger picture.
I mean, he hadn’t been there for the two days of shooting that had brought us to this one lower level. Petitioning outside of Parsons with some poorly made signs that read “Take back the handjob”, “Handjobs (can make you) Rock Hard” and “Honk if you like hand- jobs” we were asking for some sort of trouble, for someone to say something. I thought that maybe we’d even get arrested.
But we didn’t – get arrested that is. And now I can comfortably admit I’m making porn, although people I know wouldn’t want me to use that type of language to describe what I’m doing. Porn is one of those words that’s important to reclaim and not ignore, just like the handjob. You’ll see quite a few of those in my fellatio video.
So, that’s what I’ll be doing for the next few weeks – taping, editing, processing. This video thing, it takes time, but I know what I’m doing is worth it. Even if, at times, on the set, it wasn’t all that easy, or maybe it was just me that was difficult. It’s all part of the learning experience when it comes to making what could be elegantly referred to as erotica.
What’s the point of all this? As I sit here, typing about the experience still going on around me, I realize that it’s hard to live in the moment, even if it’s the moment I’ve been waiting my whole career for. And yet, in spite of all my insecurities and the obstacles that come with making my first video, I’m pulling this off. Me and the crew, we’re taking some chances and making a different type of sex video.
It will be weeks before I know where all this will lead, because this isn’t just about the finished product; it’s about the discovery of creating something new. And in the first two days of doing just that, I learned a lot about myself, and the importance of finding a rhythm and smoothing out the rough spots.
Just like when giving a handjob – this whole process, it’s got its ups and downs.