February 11, 2021

At the end of the day

"You're another day older..." (Les Mis, one of my favorite musicals and a really appropriate song for a girl in the projects)

So, Verizon did indeed cancel my order. They say my building has fiber optic phone lines and I need a copper phone line in order to get DSL. I think this is "project discrimination." I feel the pain of living in a building where most people can't afford to care about the fabric of their phonewire. I've offered to bribe them to get me copper wire. I don't know how they feel about being bribed, but they are going to check my building just in case they can find me some. I'm still thinking about cable. I have to call Time Warner on Monday. I'm feeling desperate. I really need Internet access. I really love my apartment, which by the way, I found through an online post - Curiosity Jones, if that is your real name, and I don't want to have to leave my view of the river because I can't get connected.

It's Friday night. My grandmother was in a pretty bad bang up car accident yesterday. In typical old lady fashion she blamed the sun for being too damn bright. "I tell you," she said "the sun can kill you these days." She didn't break any bones, have I mentioned that I do believe in miracles, but she's pretty bruised up. If my grandfather were still alive he would have seen the other car coming. Now I'm trying to convince her that driving might not be the thing to do anymore. But how do you do that, without taking away someone's last bits of freedom? She loves to go out. I suggested she move into the city. She says she can't afford it. I understand.

I'm going to have a weekend of enjoyment. I feel I need it. I feel I deserve it. I feel like next week the chaos starts all over again. I was lieing in the "relax" pose in yoga, and for the first time in my yogic experiences, I felt like a heavy weight was crushing my chest as I tried to relax. I couldn't lift my arms, my legs, even my eyelids. It was so strange.

For a girl whose life seems like a vacation, I'm in need of the real thing.

Posted by jamye at February 11, 2021 07:21 PM