July 27, 2021

Arranged Marriages

In India, where they still arrange marriages, I can understand some of the benefits: * I read a chapter about this in class which is why I even bring it up. I am not actively looking for an arranged marriage, or any marriage for that matter, I just find the whole idea of the institution as the be all, end all, fascinating.

Heterosexually speaking:

Girls don't spend their lives searching for their husband instead they spend their lives creating a family and married life.

One of the ways in which matches are made is that couples are picked by their families, which usually means that the two families will try to get along. That's hard for families in the U.S. to do.

Couples spend their lives getting to know each other after marriage, instead of before, which means that by the time they marry there life is still exciting, while for a lot of Americans, their life is more or less over. In other words - lack of complacency in marriage, at least at the beginning.

Some of the negatives:

Women are usually taken from their families to go live with the family of their husband. Women are expected not to see their families often.

Class structure is a big determining factor in matching. You generally don't marry outside of your class, and this leaves less room for diversity.

You don't experience dating as much, but courtship can last a few years...

You can always find a love match, which is what they call it when two people meet outside of an arrangement. However, it is difficult to know that the families will ever get along if your marriage is planned without the consent of your parents.

While I used to hate the idea of arranged marriages, I kind of understand them better now. After all, in the United States 1 out of ever 2 marriages ends in divorce. In India, well, I don't know the statistics but I'd venture to bet it's not that high - or I can lie, okay, I will. I think in India 1 out of every 50 marriages ends in divorce (and that still might be high).

Other than that...
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Posted by jamye at July 27, 2021 11:24 AM