This might normally be seen as a post about an ice cream truck with an overzealous knack for playing the same song, loudly, and often, but it’s not.

Instead this is a post about penis. Not the stiff, obviously-excited-to-be-here kind, but rather the not-so-stiff-or-once-was-stiff-but-now-it’s-gone type of penis that some men have. Some guys just can’t keep it up once they cover themselves in the latex, but sometimes it’s just physical or psychological or both. Especially if they once had an erection problem and it was brought to their attention that it was a problem, then anytime they have said “problem,” they get stressed out about it.

Lack of an erection doesn’t mean you still can’t have fun.

I once went with a man who couldn’t always get, or keep, it up. I didn’t care. He said I was the first girl he’d ever been with where he actually believed me when I said it (and no I wasn’t one of the first girls he’d ever “made it” with). He was a great kisser and dancer and even when he wasn’t built-up like an erector set, I knew he was excited to be there, with me. I didn’t doubt that. I just knew, that based on his size and shape and that he had a past history of problems, that this had to be hard on him anyway.

I like a softee. I teach workshops where I tell women that starting with a flaccid penis in their mouths or hands is:

a. a great way to deep throat early on

b. a lovely reminder that you are there with the man, not the erection.

Plus, it’ll often put him in the mood.

I do think the general attitude of even the most enlightened of folks is that it’s ”bullshit” when a guy can’t get an erection, that something must be wrong with him or he must not be into her, the other him, or everyone he’s getting it on with. But not all guys are built the same, and who’s to say who should and shouldn’t be able to get, or stay, hard.

To being with, there are two types of hard, maybe more. There’s the super hard, like deadwood cock, and the softer hard, the one that never really stops feeling spongy-ish. And I don’t care which one he’s got, as long he knows his body, and things he can do to my body (and he’s a good make out-er), things will likely be fine. That’s not to say I don’t want to be with someone who can’t keep an erection. Erections are nice too, but I like penis, whatever form it takes. Up, down, soft, hard, or to the side - we can work it out.