Just Don’t Do It

I like Yvonne Fulbright. I think she’s sweet. I understand that she writes for Fox News, and that there may be certain instructions, or perhaps some call them expectations, about how to think once you’re reprogrammed employed there, so that may explain why she quickly, and at the end of her story on when to have sex, and how-not-to-really-do-it-on-the-first-date, offers up this sage advice:

Some people can pull off sex on the first date. I know couples who have gone on to fall madly in love with each other for the long-term.

However the rest of her answer heeds caution of giving up the milk too soon and for too little, especially if you want the person to love you long time.

But most aren’t so lucky, which is why every person — and every potential or committed couple — needs to take the time to contemplate when to go all the way. For some people, such “sexpectations” involve anywhere from four to nine weeks of dating. For others, it may take months or even a couple of years. In the meantime, most expect plenty of kissing — at least just for the first date.

Yvonne’s column is sparked by research published in a year-old survey (one that was first seen in Sexuality Research & Social Policy, and titled Personal Safety and Sexual Safety for Women Using Online Personal Ads), which stated that 30 percent of women who find dates online have sex on the first date. Yvonne writes:

It’s probably safe to say that a great deal of e-flirting took place before they met their date. Regardless, one has to wonder if those gals ever went on a second date. I don’t say that to sound judgmental. It’s just that it’s a valid matter to consider, given that both men and women don’t often get a second dance.

She doesn’t say it to sound judgmental, this I believe, because like I said, she’s really sweet, but still, where’s the research that says how many of them did or didn’t go on a second date? And what’s even more important about the results of this research are not about the sleeping-with-someone-on-a-first-date dilemma, but the sleeping-with-someone-on-a-first-date and NOT USING protection thingy, which apparently 77 percent of the 30 percent of women happened to forget to use. 

So sex on the first date isn’t really the issue here, it’s that of the percentage of women who had sex on the first date that didn’t talk about who had what (STI) and how they got it. And yes, the high frequency of intimate emails, and possibly IM, definitely led women to allow for insertion more quickly, and honestly, when you communicate with someone for a long time it doesn’t necessarily feel like a first date. But still, not using protection? Shouldn’t that be the real issue here?

So maybe it’s not don’t do it on the first date. It’s just do it for you , and if you do it for you, do it for f*ks sake, and not because you want him or her to like you/hate you/leave you/love you. Do it because you both want to get laid. Or because you need to. Do it for your country. Or your cuntry. Or your cock. Or for whatever good reason you have for doing it, and for the other person wanting to do it too. But be clear about why you’re doing it. Be honest. And be prepared and protected. Seriously. Protected.