Learning Sex

Two pieces I found online that all of us can learn from:

1. Cory Silverberg’s article on the reality of sex in adult movies is only one of the myriad of reasons why I love him dearly. If you have ever watched an adult movie, or know what porn is, you should read this piece. Here’s one of my favorite points:

Mainstream pornography is no more like most people’s sex lives than big budget Hollywood films are like most people’s daily lives. Notice how in Hollywood movies people rarely go to the bathroom, and never look anything other than stunningly beautiful…

As someone who has seen their share of sexy movies live! and in person! I do think we place an unnatural amount of guilt about our countries lack-of-quality-sex-education-in-the-classroom on these exuberant exhibitionists. Think about it. It isn’t fair, or logical, to translate performer sex into real-life people sex. It’s like saying that after watching Batman you know that Christian Bale can fly, and you’re sure that he’d be a great teacher to instruct you in the art of flight. Or that we can all learn about survival in the great outdoors from Harrison Ford, since he is Indiana Jones.  We need to keep getting the message out that porn stars are performers and porn is for entertainment. Say it with me, PORN STARS ARE PERFORMERS AND PORN IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT.

That being said,  I do tell my talent that they have to look at themselves with an educator’s eye, at least if they care about the sex they are having on film. I talk directly to them as if what they do care, as if the sex they have could make a difference in someone’s personal sexy life. That doesn’t mean most of them hear me, or care, (they don’t), but at least one or two performers on a shoot do, and that makes all the difference to me. Some of these porn stars do want to be sex educators, and they assume that the role comes along with the job. But most of them just want their daily rate, and they’re on there way. Unfortunately porn does impact impressionable minds. Especially since most people learn more about sex from porn than from anywhere else (like parents, schools, or books). If we continue to allow people to get most of their schooling from film-fucking, more so than in health or science class, then indirectly we are all to blame for the porn-is-reality-sex mentality that we have in this country.

Getting…off…soapbox…now…

2. If you’re looking for an inspiring story on coming-before-you’ve-gone-anywhere-near-inside-her-pussy, without it actually translating to coming to the end of sexy time, Greta Christina wrote a beautiful piece called “What I Learned from Lesbian Sex” (Alternet).