February 05, 2021
Sex Parties
This weekend I attended my first dance party/sex party. Okay, this wasn't exactly my first sex party, in fact I’ve been to my fair share, but it was my first sex party with a date. The date happened to be my live-in honey, which of course made it all the more exciting, but I was still nervous about getting there and getting it on.
All the other times I had gone alone, and quite honestly, rebuffed all the demands for touch and tickle. I don't really like being the "single female" at the party, not that there's anything wrong with being just that, but it's just not my thing. I become to protective about my clit and the rest of my body, and therefore don't allow myself to get out of my head.
This time I was giving myself more headspace because I wanted an experience like I’ve never had before. To get there though, there are certain rules I follow. One day I'll go into sex party etiquette but for now here's a few basics. You shouldn't go to these parties playing jealous, unless it's just play, because things will get ugly. You can't go without expecting someone will hit on you, or your partner, and they may possibly be quite aggressive about it. You can go expecting that it’s okay to say no. You can be sure that men will masturbate, women will watch and others will be too busy having orgies of their own.
And so my boyfriend and I, having not talked about our boundaries, simply assumed that we’d talk if we needed to (and neither of us was planning on getting it on with someone else). I knew that if I wanted to hook up I'd have to talk with him beforehand. I knew that he'd do the same. And he almost did, except that while I was roaming around, some really attractive, overtly sexual, totally horny girl began dancing with his tongue. He told me about it right after, but the truth is, I had to work through my feelings.
In the end, it didn't matter, and I never got mad, but I still feel a pang of jealousy (but not the kind that I've mentioned above which can get you into trouble) when I think about the moment. Maybe it's because she had the kind of boobs I've dreamed of, or because she was beautiful and open, or because he had got some stranger tongue action and I didn't, but there was something I had to figure out about what made me sad. Maybe it was that when she brought her boyfriend over to introduce him, I realized while she was hot, he was sexy, but not my type of sexy and that I didn’t want him the way my boyfriend wanted her (or vice versa). I knew that if she was bringing him here for permission to play more with my sweetie, this was a no-go. And that now we needed to talk (which by the way we did, and it was all good).
I realized that some of the hardest bits about being at a party with lots of couples is not being attracted to one part of the pair. Of course my more open-minded friends would say that you can find something attractive about anyone, but I guess I’m too shallow.
Still, I had a lot of fun at this party, and won’t right now go into more detail about my personal play, but I will say that I think that anyone in a safe, comfortable, loving relationship can benefit from going, but not necessarily groping others. It can help remind couples of your attraction to each other (or I guess it could remind you that you need to get out as well), and it’s catalyst for quick change. Not that the change lasts forever, it’s something you will need to work on, but it can help change your sex life, and by going to a sex party you can fall more in love, lust or like with the person you're there with. Of course you can also, like a friend of mine once experienced, realize that when your date is the life of the party, you will never look at her the same way again and then call it quits. That's why you need to talk about your boundaries. Discuss them honestly and openly and make sure you're both in touch with each other's feelings throughout the course of this trip.
While my boyfriend's not convinced he’d go back for his own personal reasons, I’ve learned that I like being sexual in public, in a lot of senses of the word. And I like trying new experiences with my partner, and even like that he’s kissed another girl. And I like non-sleazy sex parties. I think they’re a good way to explore your own relationship, and if you’re in the right mindset, they’re a good way to boost your own sex life.